.soulpreciousthots.

Salam Lebaran 09

2009-09-28T16:32:00.003+08:00

I hope it is not too late to say Salam Lebaran! How's your visiting? Mine has been pretty much the same. I bet the Abbas Family love such celebrations because we just love gatherings and seeing each others' faces all the time. So yea, we love us more and more. Since I only have had my maternal grandmother, she has been the most important figure for our family. The only difference this year is that we are much more excited for October to come rather than Hari Raya. Am i right???

Irritating boy bila sakit makin annoying okay

2009-09-07T16:23:00.013+08:00

Last week, I visited 3 hospitals in 2 days straight. Farin had high fever and infection in his mouth apart from the wisdom tooth. He was being such a pain in my ass refusing to wait at the damn packed A&E, wanting to talk even when he couldn't open his mouth, demanding this and demanding that. At certain point of time, i feel like punching his already-swollen face.

The following day, I had to rush him to the hospital again before rushing to meet puteraPUTERI for break fast together. This boy very mentel initially don't wanna go for injection but when i was about to take a rest, he complaint the pain was unbearable then baru nak beg me to bring him to the hospital. The weather pun super hot gitu that I was perspiring all over. So it was all about rushing here and there the whole day. Luckily his swollen face started to subside, if not i think he will bug me not to break fast with them. Irritating boy what. The photos above were after he was done with the painkillers, injection and cleansing. That's why all smile kan. But smile senget la kan boy, HAHAHAHA!!

The lowest point

2009-08-28T01:10:00.006+08:00

Just what is wrong with my fate? Is there really something wrong with me or have I offended someone so bad?

Seven bloody months and I am still unemployed. Couldn't get even worse than this. Let's not blame the recession for my current state because I believe there are lots of jobs wanting to be filled up. But the freaking problem is, each time I go for an interview, I do not get a return call. That includes part time or even retail! As quoted by Naqiah a few months back, "aku dah kering tahap drought." I can guarantee, mine is far more worst than that. And knowing the fact that both my brothers are getting married in a couple of months, it just makes me even more desperate for a job. Cos when they are hitched, the responsibilities are passed down to me since both my parents are too old to get a job. And with me not able to at least get a proper job, I do not know how I can survive much longer.

It is very much obvious I hate the life I am living right now. I hate it when others tell me to be patient because seven months without any pay would have prove my patience. Right, I know patience is virtue. But can patience help me in supporting my family? Obviously no. I hate it even more when I know my friends are working. (and stop saying you need a break from work)It is sure very pressurising.

Whinning won't get me a job. Crying won't solve it either. The only solution to this is to continue searching for a job which I swear is killing me softly. I have sent thousands or even millions of resume but no response at all.

Sometimes I wonder if thisis a curse from someone or a punishment for the sins I have done. If it is the latter, then I have to accept it but if it's the former, I wouldn't forgive that person ever and I swear that he/she will have a terrible life ahead. Ya, I am that evil after what I have been through.

And after all that I have been through for the past months, now I dare to say, "I leave it all to God. Because I've tried my very best. So now let's just follow the flow."

Then there's one more problem. I have done what I need to. I have cut down on the amount of food to consume. I started consuming only healthy food I even starved myself while others are enjoying their break fast. But still, I am getting berisi as quoted by almost everyone. Sometimes, I choose to ignore their remarks but the damn jeans choose to upset me more. I have left a big hole on two of my jeans in a period of two week.

I am so bloody upset with my life right now. Okay, that was second time saying that in this post.

But I still believe that Allah will not test someone beyond our limits and capabilities.

Same old same old

2009-08-24T14:02:00.010+08:00

Last night, Mak almost managed to call the ambulance to send me to the hospital. The pain was so bad, i couldn't even do a thing. When I sit, I want to lie down on bed. When I lie down on bed, I think sleeping would do me good. When I tried to sleep, the pain gets worse. When I keep my mouth shut, I thought talking would ease the pain. When I talk on the phone, I get really frustrated. Today is my first day fasting for the month and I really hope I can make it through. Insya'allah.

Anyway, I overlooked the date today and I missed an interview that was scheduled for me earlier. Now it's back to searching for jobs online and in the papers. Same routine for so many months. Like they said, "same old same old."

2009-08-18T14:41:00.000+08:00

I have this urge to blurt out what i have in mind, a story that portrays my sorrow and probably the anger that is turning into hatred. i hate hearing someone else's complains and whinings for fear i would be affected by it. What's worse, i hate to know that their complains are irrelevant and are made out of selfishness. tsk tsk. initially, i shoved away the idea of letting go and because i believe in holding on. years of frienship would be a waste,u get what i mean? as the time goes by, i dont see the reason for my loyalty. what's the point of being nice when you know you are just being used? what's the point of being there for them all the time but they don't appreciate it? reality check, it takes two hands to clap. right now, i dont see why i bothered to hold on when they have longed let go, why do i often give in when i dont owe them my life. it's true that i am too free at this point of time unlike them who are so busy with their life.. but that sure isn't a good reason for me to stay.

I asked myself was it worth it and obviously my answer was disheartening. Why do I have to be such an angel and turn into someone similar to them, hypocrites?

This time, I am sure I'll do good without them because I don't need such people to move ahead in life. Good luck, hypocrites.

Small girl in a small world

2009-07-28T13:36:00.002+08:00

This world is indeed very small.

The other day while I was on the phone with Niraf, I found out that his one of his bunkmate was my old friend back then in secondary school. Last week, we bumped into his friend. They talked about the recent Piala Panggung competition and when he mentioned 'Fadhil', the first person that came to my mind was Naqiah. I mean, what's the possibility that they were talking about Naqiah's boyfriend kan? But indeed they were talking about him because when I texted Naqiah the thing they mentioned about him, Naqiah said it was really him! I was like laughing literally when I saw her message. Not only that, they were even mentioning about TP's Dikir group and suddenly, Achiok's name mentioned. I don't know this guy but I am very sure he is Rad's boyfriend. Kan? Wah piang! Then check check balek, Niraf used to be in one of the group too but he stopped going for the trainings and all since he was busy with NS, what else. Okay part tu, aku yang slenger tak tau.

And... what's up with korang korang ni semua lock your blog? Is it the in thing now? TELL ME.

emotions running wild

2009-07-16T23:11:00.009+08:00

sometimes we just can't please the people around us, not even our own family members. no one believed when I said that i am a stranger in my own home. Every single step I take equates to mistake. I don't mean significant steps like making a huge decisions, i mean steps like choosing to place my belongings on which part of my room. yes, in my own room. Steps like this can just spark an argument between my family members. it sounds ridiculous but that is really happening. and when i chose to spend more time outside because i don't think i can tolerate all the nonsense at home, they labeled me as 'someone'. if screaming doesn't help, discussing and pouring my feelings out to them doesn't either. at times, i don't think expressing myself here or to anyone is needed because it just doesn't help a bit. simply because it won't change the situation at home.

....and i sort of know the reason for all that has happened and is still happening.

Swine

2009-06-24T19:02:00.005+08:00

Everyone should already be aware of the case of Influenza A (H1N1-2009) that has been spreading islandwide. Obviously, it has affected almost everyone everywhere. Eventhough Singapore is a safe clean place, it has confirmed 26 new cases bringing a total number of infection 194 as of today, 24th June 2009.

If you read the news, the case is getting wilder. More and more cases are reported lately. I am one of those who thinks that I won't be directly affected by this case as long as I do not travel to the affected countries. But obviosuly I thought wrong. We won't know if we could have came in contact with anyone with or suspected of the Flu.

Just last week, a friend of mine was sent to CDC when he was supposed to book in at Maju Camp. Subsequently, my own boyfriend was sent back home from Camp to be quarantined for a week together with his family. It all depends on his condition during this period to decide if he needs to be quarantined longer. So far, more than few of my friends have been quarantined at home too. It isn't just about spending time at home, not reporting for work but still get paid. It's not as easy as it seems. You have to report you status / condition a few times a day. Very troublesome.

For the record, Niraf didn't allow me to go out as well except to do my tutoring. Right, thanks! In other words, I am also quarantined. WTH.

you and me; some things are just out of our way

2009-06-16T17:23:00.011+08:00

"I thought I loved him, but he had to break my heart for me to know what true love really is. In the end, it's all the "only if" that is left."

When it happened months ago, I questioned myself to why I changed that way and what was the main reason for it. I had no answer and in fact, no one had the answer to it. Still, I continued to be the girl I never thought I would ever be, the girl that I have always hated. One thing for sure, both of us will get hurt and it's obvious now isn't it? I took the huge risk into ending it because I don't want to go deeper in our sins once it becomes an addiction. Honestly, I am tired of living in denial and waiting for something which I am not sure of. I am sick of pretending to be fine when I am not and by just being in this illegal affair itself. It has been fat hope for me and probably, this is the best way for You, Me, Her and the people around us.

I apologise for my sudden decision and let me remind that the decision is solely mine. Sometimes, some things are better left unsaid but if you know me very well, you know what I need most. Sometimes things in life doesn't go the way we planned it and that's when you have to re-plan.

Shithole

2009-06-15T11:58:00.002+08:00

This is very depressing.

It doesn't give any excitement at all.

In fact, I breakdown too much for it.

This has made me shoved away almost everyone coming in my way.

Don't say I am thinking too much into it.

It isn't funny.

Don't say you understand it.

It isn't helping.

Don't give me motivational words.

It is very pressurizing. Very.

Life's been very harsh on me lately.

I can go hiatus on this space if I want.

But can I do the same to my life?

Take me out from this SHITHOLE.

Benefits of silence

2009-06-10T14:00:00.017+08:00

Don't ever try to act nice because you'll end up being a fool, baby. Didn't know I was the only girl who made you feel so inferior all these while. Hahahahaha.

This LK actually goes through the longest way to get in contact with me but failed. When she actually bragged and contradict herself, "I have been with him for 7 years and we've been through a lot of shits together but right now, I need you to get back to him." Made me laughed real hard. I know you have been with him for 7 years and I was with him a year plus after the relationship officially ended.

Maybe she expected some cliche reaction from me but I am sorry that is not happening. "Actually you do know that I am no longer with him, am I right? So I don't see the point I need to get back to him though you are being so sweet by giving up your love for us to be together. Plus, I am with someone else now."

Obviously, LK doesn't understand the words that were coming out from my mouth and said she could feel the love I had for the ex and as contradicting as she was earlier, she questioned my love for our ex. How ironic. Still got the cheek to tell me their 7 years moments. Not interested, please.

Next thing I knew, she said stuff that a small little 5 year old girl will think those are words coated with sugar plus jelly beans. Just imagine she came up to you and say,
“when he does something wrong, kiss his forehead”
“when he get his asthma attacks, please go to his house and take care of him”
“when he is sick, feed him”
“when he wants to go out, iron his clothes for him”

In case she isn't aware, those are stuff that ALL girls would do to their loved one, without being forced or told to do so.

1. Which part of I have got someone else did she not understand?

2. If she really loved her 7 long years relationship, why should she give up her love just for me?

3. Even if I were to go back to our ex, why in the world would I follow her style?

No, I don't want to be taking over her place and be LK number 2. And if some of you seem to remember the scene from somewhere, then maybe ‘I’m not single’ might refresh your memory.

Anoi, Maman, Alim and I had a good laugh right after my conversation with LK ended. We shall see what happens the next moment. Maybe not, because all of us (every single one of our friends and families including the acquaintances) knows it all.

Job!

2009-06-09T13:04:00.003+08:00

I was busy applying for jobs online when I receive a call from an unknown number.

Now, I have an interview at 330pm and I am so nervous!

Wish me luck and pray that I won't make a fool of myself.

Twenty three

2009-06-05T17:26:00.014+08:00

So long overdue but since I am so free right now, why not kan. A day after my Graduation, I rushed down to Kak Ita's place to collect my orders. I am very much delighted to see the results of my request. It was splendid!

It was the birthday boy's request not to celebrate his day. We even argued the day before cos apparently he refused to see me when I asked him out. I had to tell him that I needed to see him badly before I leave for my holiday and he fell for it. White lie, what else.

While we were talking, he saw the big bag beside me, opened it and then went speechless. His reactions are very much similar to mine, very obvious and dramatic. Member muka shocked abes to see the content of the box. Don't know shocked to see what I got for him, shocked to see the colours or shocked to know how sweet I could be. HAHAHAHAHA.

Kept thanking me non stop hits and asked if he could just keep it forever without eating. Siapa mau gi layannn. Went up to his place and the proud boy showed his Mother. His mother pun apa lagik, took multiple shots of the cupcakes and asked me umpteen questions about it. Funny funny funny bunch.

As he requested it to be, there was no celebration. We didn't get him anything else and didn't make it any special apart from the cupcakes. After each of us chose our very own alphabest from the cupcakes, we had our dinner together where his mother cooked for all of us.

P: Okay, sorang satu jer. Tak boleh lebih. Yang lain semua aku nak simpan.
Mizah: Tkmu merepek eh. Biarlah dorang nak amek.
P: Tk boleh. Semua I punya. I'm the birthday boy.
Mizah: Rilek sudah. No celebration so birthday boy or not, doesn't matter.

P: Takde ah, you kasi I aper. So ni semua I punya. Sorang satu jer.

All because he thinks that the cupcakes are so beautiful and sexy and it would be a waste to eat them all. Tsk.

Heart shape.

Exposed. Rated: Burok.

Like father, like son. Don't you guys think it's carbon copy?

And let's thank Ika for spending time with his brother at home that day. I am sure it means a lot to him. The other siblings missing: Nazir and Hakim. The other wasn't in the photo.

His irritating and fighting partner. Both of them just can't see eye to eye and will confirm, irritate each other, ALL THE TIME.

Please give me some credits too lor for coming up with this idea after brainstorming so much and if not for baking, at least for requesting the cupcakes according to the way the birthday boy would love it.

We really hope you enjoyed your day very much...

and love the time spent with your ~~Charlie's~~ P's angels.

++++++++++

And I have no words to describe Nizam sometimes. He just texted me saying that he met with an accident and that the tonner that he drove, actually "fly".

Nizam: Aku accident beb. Yang peliknya, aku selamat.

When i continued reading the message, he should have known how i reacted. Mind became blank seh but if he's infront of me, mintak kena tampar all angle je ni mamat. I don't know if it's your use of words or you are just trying to dig out my dramatic reactions. Still, call me once you are out of the MC. Wait, does this means your trip to Taiwan is postponed? *kening naik2*

graduands

2009-05-26T12:45:00.003+08:00

"when you feel like giving up, remember the purpose you were there the very first time."

The graduation went smoothly. Alhamdulillah!

Last Tuesday, was the day most of us have been waiting for. Wearing the robe and receiving the certificate was like a dream come true.

It was really great having to see the parents smile widely at me and leaving a kiss on my cheeks.

More pictures HERE

2009-05-25T13:13:00.003+08:00

I have safely reached Singapore and I am so damn shagged. Zur said i am acting so weird because i am super lagging which is so unlike me. Weather change, i supposed. Padahal padahal la kan. Although i went only for a short while, i am still trying to settle down because somehow, it feels weird from the rest of the getaway that i've been to.

I promise..

a detailed entry on graduation, birthday celebrations and the getaway itself.

what to wearrrr?

2009-05-18T12:27:00.006+08:00

"Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad, because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss."

Graduation ceremony is in less than 24 hours and I have seriously nothing to wear. Being unemployed and basically nothing to do all the time, I have obviously grown horizontally and increasing one size. My plan to exercise did not actually work out so much to lose a few kilos before the event.

With that, the existing formal wear that I often wear for work the last time, don't seem to fit me or look a little sloppy for a graduation ceremony. I really need to find my black pants which I can't seem to find and get myself a new shirt later on.

But I can't seem to moving my ass because the fever that Iam having now is making me all weak. I also have this sore throat which makes me feel like coughing every other minute but when I try to cough, I wana vomit. Very frustrating leh.

Side track a bit, Nizam has been the for a week plus and he shall be back in 12 more days!

always here with me

2009-05-17T22:13:00.004+08:00

"Even though you're not here and nowhere to be found, my heart says you're still here and everywhere to be found."

Last Friday, P accompanied me to CWP. Before that, he had his usual share of Ramen because it's like a must meal to have everytime we visit that place. Done with that, we went straight to the shop to get the pair of shoes. The one that Anoi and myself have eyed on, were not as practical because of the velcro. P made me choose another pair because he really insisted that the velcro was not worth it.

We also did something which I have not done for the longest time. We paid a visit to the arcade where this machine above caught his attention instantly. It's like a roller coaster but this is indoor and you won't experience the highest height. BUT .. everything else is the same! Both of us felt like vomiting after the ride.

I also took the chance to relive my childhood moments where I forced him to take the bike race because it was obviously the only thing i raced during my childhood times.

It was really really good! The feeling before, in the midst and after.

Road to graduation

2009-05-12T14:13:00.002+08:00

"Though miles may lie between us, we're never far apart, for friendship doesn't count the miles, it's measured by the heart."

See you ladies in a week's time!

Sending Nizam off

2009-05-10T02:44:00.000+08:00

- Dinner with Family at Al - Azhar

- Had Niraf to fetch me and from there we got something for Nizam before meeting him at the airport to send him off to Brunei.

We'll wait for your return.

Tag reply:

shaz: cey2! minah rempit arh. haha. oi dgr2 aku msg kau beh tak rply. -___-

Ohmicha!: minah rempit abessss! Sorry ah babe. I was sleeping sehh and bile aku bgn, terlupe nak reply.. hehehe!

280 pit stop

2009-05-08T16:04:00.004+08:00

"The smile on your face let me know that you need me, there's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me, the touch of your hand says you will catch me whenever I fall. You say it best when you say nothing at all."

It was never easy from the start.

But it still happened.

And I know you felt it too.

one after another

2009-05-06T14:33:00.000+08:00

He was back a week ago and yes, i am so gundu because all along i thought he would be back by 1st may, 0140, which technically was 2nd may. When i received his call on 30th april, 0140, which of course was 1st may, i asked the rudest question ever; "How come you are back so early?" Tak kena tampar dah cukup bagus.

It took him quite some time to adapt to the environment here and it was quite frustrating to know that he was back but we didn't exchange any texts or have a decent conversation until the third day he was back. That was also because we met up each other for a moment before we had to attend to our own stuff.

And the time is nearing .. to send Nizam off next. Sigh. 20 days to go through without his irritating remarks and no one to listen to my never ending whines and stories at the end of every single day. And also, no one to leave me talking on the phone alone because he actually loves to sleep whenever we are on the phone. Excellent!

can't get enough

2009-05-05T02:57:00.000+08:00

YOU CAN COUNT ON ME FOR LIFE.
Good night love!

so lost.

2009-05-03T21:58:00.002+08:00

what if you read something personal about yourself that people discussed about?

would you confront the two person?

would you pretend you read nothing?

Shutting!

No feeling ley

2009-05-01T01:10:00.006+08:00

Registration: Done

Robe : Collected

All set for Graduation ceremony. But how come I am not excited for it?

24 hrs.

[edited] not 24 hrs lea. He came back alrdy. I thought it will be 1st may, 140 am. Rupernyer today pulakk. Kental bacen.[/edited]

Bloody poser

2009-04-29T13:26:00.001+08:00

There's no word to describe this feeling now.

Hate might be a strong word. But yes, that's the nearest possible word for you.

Just stop whatever you are doing, bloody poser.

Ape, abang ***** eh?

Pergi jahanam sudah.

I've never hated someone this much sia and congratulations, you are the first person.

The last lap

2009-04-28T14:49:00.000+08:00

2 more to go.

Love isn't just about being together

2009-04-23T21:44:00.002+08:00

Three people who open up to me to talk about their heartbreak .... How about me? Will you ever listen to my heart?

As quoted: "menyintai seseorang itu sudah cukup bahagia untuk diriku.."

Day and night

2009-04-23T21:02:00.002+08:00

I am counting the days left. Miss cannot describe the absence feeling I have for you.

15th day without Niraf

2009-04-22T13:43:00.000+08:00

...more days left

To my babes...

2009-04-18T14:44:00.004+08:00

Three different girls with three different personalities. Three different girls with three different stories of three different situations. I know they are probably at their lowest point of their life right now. It's really difficult having to juggle with the problems and daily life - problems that came unexpectedly and cannot be shoved away definitely. At this point of time, I wish I could do something to change the situation they are in.

Even if I am not directly affected, I am very upset for them. I know I am no one to actually say that I feel for them because I am not in their shoes but trust me, when I say I understand how they are feeling. I get the whole picture.

Nonetheless, I want you babes to know that I am always here to listen to all your whines and sighs okay? I will always be here to provide even the littlest help to lift the burden off. Just don't let this obstacle to let yourself down and please, brace yourself.

To my lovely babes - Nurul Fathin Aida, Siti Hajar and Rara, I know you babes will be strong in going through this phase of life. It's not the end.

I'm sorry for the times you felt that you were alone. I'm sorry for the times you thought I forgot about you. You must know you can always count on me.

Hugs and kisses,
Mizahh

a moment of happiness

2009-04-17T15:20:00.006+08:00

It's been the same routine everyday. Either I'm out with his or my friends or I'm sitting at home in front of the laptop. 10 days gone and I have exactly 14 more days to hang on. I guess I was lucky to receive an email from him the first week he was away. It's really amazing how email can assure that things are fine on the other side. I guess I was even luckier to receive a call all the way from Taiwan on his 9th day there. I was laughing, smiling and crying all at the same time. Tears of joy, they say. So warm and dot dot dot. We managed to have our few minutes of minah and mat joke and asking about each other's condition before assuring that a solid discussion is needed when he gets back here. A few minutes before he hung up, I managed to put his friends in conference with us and boy were they so excited.

At least that could keep me smiling for a week.

Of 8 days without Niraf

2009-04-15T00:39:00.010+08:00

Last weekeknd without Niraf was totally a mess. It was the first time when I couldn't depend on him to plan it all for me for a fantastic weekend. It was a time for me to get myself up on my own feet and plan it all over again just like before. Not so bad with all the impromptu plans.

Just yesterday, had another mini meetup with the usuals - Hajar, Rudy and Zur. We chilled at the new shopping centre over at Bugis and did a lot of catching up with each other. Somehow, it feels good to be meeting them and talking a little bit about our silly past.

It was also a time for me to complain to Zur who I assumed was good in repairing the function in my phone or at least he could give me an assuring explanation of what is wrong with that phone. There's Rudy who claims he knows it all and at the end of it, did nothing to solve the problem.

.. where we had Rudy to be the girl and myself to actually pose like the guy. I was supposed to pose the way Rudy always poses but I don't know how I ended up like I wanted to cover up my mouth.

If you visit the new shopping centre, you will find the longest escalator which Rudy claimed to be the longest escalator in the world. I chose to think that it was the longest escalator he has ever seen. It will take you a minute and 20 seconds to actually reach the fourth level (?!) from the first level.

It was all good. At least it kept me going. Iffah Fathin and Nizam, you guys should be there.

P.S: Beb, i receive your email and i've replied to it! I'm sorry I didn't manage to answer your call.

Stop it, will you?

2009-04-13T22:15:00.012+08:00

JUST STOP IT!

I've been silent for three bloody months! The least that all of you can do is stop asking me if I have managed to find a decent job or even worst, if I have started looking for one. It is really very frustrating to have someone to ask those questions and in the middle of that unacceptable conversation, assure me that they truly understand the economic downturn that everyone is facing.

If you truly understand, you wouldn't add salt to the wound. You wouldn't make me worry more. You wouldn't let me have this whole feeling inside me. Because you just don't. Obviously.

Mother has been the most understanding person ever apart from Niraf. She knows I have been trying very much not to spend. She knows I don't spend unecessarily when I am out. Niraf is also there to assist me a lot with the amount of money I spent. He has really helped alot. I'm thankful that I at least have these two person with me who truly understand it all.

The rest of you, stop those questions.

Of 2 days without Niraf

2009-04-09T12:00:00.007+08:00

I have been reading up on Taiwan quite a bit to find out the culture, weather and living environment. If I read correctly, Taiwan's local time is the same as Singapore's local time which means it's exactly 12 noon now. Niraf must be having his lunch right now, I hope.

Surprisingly, he sent me a text message yesterday night to let me know of the things that has happened overnight. I didn't expect to receive the message from him so soon because I was already informed that he will be very busy with outfield training. He did send his regards to all of you. According to him, it has been freezing cold and he is very much trying to adapt to the weather and environment.

That is, of course, a good sign. We will never fail to pray for you, okay? I won't expect another news from you that soon but you know I will always have my phone with me in case you leave another text message. =)

Sending Niraf off to Taiwan

2009-04-08T15:49:00.006+08:00

Just yesterday, I spent a few hours at the airport being with Niraf before he left. At 1am yesterday, I reached home with his sweater and photos / videos captured in my camera. Like he mentioned, it was really difficult to be miles apart and being uncontactable for an exact of 24 days. I am glad I managed to give him a mini surprise at his doorstep the afternoon itself after making a huge prank on him. His flight to Taiwan was at 0140 and we were already at the airport at 1030.

We had Nizam for company since both of them already knew each other where we had our quick supper before he left for another briefing. Thank you so much to Nizam for spending the time with us.

I packed him the necessities, a box of uniquely wrapped Toblerones and a card to assure him that everything here will be just the same when he comes back. The most difficult and dramatic part of the night was to see him walk to me and say that he's checking in. What else could I do? Cry.

from offensive to defensive

2009-03-24T15:08:00.004+08:00

One of those days where that dear peterpan was not lazy at all, he ranged me up to bring me to the place i've been yearning to go. I was more than excited because it's like a dream come true and the feeling is really unexplainable. I don't know if I'm just a die hard fan or I am really into this thing but you could say I was very much elated for the trip.

I was smiling the whole time we walked to that building and even DP could see the excitement maynnn. Good thing was, he was an excited boy. Or he was pretending to be one, I don't care. As soon as we reached the building, we were greeted by a friendly officer who was about to start to guide the primary school kids.

Because the building has two levels, you sure do have a lot to see see look look touch touch and hear hear.

We started off with the history where DP was a great help throughout the whole tour. He did all the explaining and I am so proud! They displayed the very first vehicle that was used all the way up till now. There was also some other equipments, medals and other items that has all to do with firefighter and fire brigade.

We were allowed to experience how it feels like to be in the super big vehicle. I was still excited and elated to be given the opportunity but DP was already perspiring sitting in that vehicle while we watched a short clip of the past.

We learnt the mission and vision, the different hoses used, the names of the different nozzles used and the uses of it ..

In fact, we were allowed to do a lot in that building. You can even experience how they deal with the fire and how the water are sprayed and so on. Whatever you feel they should have, just name it because they have it all. The souvenir shop at the end of the trip was also useful. Too bad, they don't sell the souvenir that I wanted anymore. It's really a good place to visit and if you are a die hard fan or obsessed with this whole thing, it's really a must-visit place.

And because of that, I got to know how I fell in love with my favourite colour.

Let's go for the fire station tour some time?

feels like insomnia

2009-03-16T01:24:00.011+08:00

Listening to: Insomnia - Craig David

Oh!mizahh says:
you can make it through

Oh!mizahh says:
im always here

troublemaker says:
yeahhh

troublemaker says:
and that is what that has kept me going

troublemaker says:
you.

troublemaker says:
my family.

troublemaker says:
the people around me.

Oh!mizahh says:
that's the only thing that has kept us going kan babe?

troublemaker says:
each other

When life isn't just about love matters. The bond between friends, acquantainces. Comes next year, everyone will be back. We are stronger now, babe.

what is commendation?

2009-03-16T00:31:00.006+08:00

We've had tonnes of memories. 2/3 of us were determined to drop the course because it was too pressurising for all of us at one time.

We met new friends. Great friends.

We faced the toughest obstacles and pressures.

We cried due to the tensions.

We cursed and laughed.

We became a stronger human.

We have graduated!

Tags reply:

JAJAAAAA: I CANT WAIT FOR THE CHALET!HAHA!SEE YOU HERE!
Mizahh: I am excited too! See you there!

anoiiiiiii: THAT evil plan!!!!!! hahahahhahaha!!!!

Mizahh: On perrrrrrrrrr?!!!

shaz: kau dpt msg aku?? sedih or what tak rply. lol

Mizahh: You know I want to but I can't. Sorry beb.

Undying love since i was a kid

2009-03-12T14:26:00.000+08:00

Do you know how much I am obsessed with it?

Do you know how I wish I can be part of them?

Get my childhood fantasy and ambition since I knew it existed.

All that, coming soon.

Go try something different

2009-03-11T20:46:00.007+08:00

I was gone for a week or so and didn't had any chance to get in touch with the cyberworld. Part of it was because the laptop was with my babe and I guess the past weeks have been too surprising and adventurous.

It's true when they say things happen when you least expect them. In other words, you've got to expect the unexpected. Very very true like that lor kan.

I mean it when I say that. Korang really have to expect the unexpected lor. Because we, the little girls, who everyone thought can never make it, did it lor! We did it! We became so brave and decided to play adventure at a secluded part of Singapore and every single one of you should all be shocked because even we were amazed by ourselves. Who says both of us cannot ajak go for adventure?

We little girls came up with a prank and two guys fell for it, scare ourselves with the massive stares from Banglas. We played in the rain, acted like divas, made friends with a matrep, took a cab for a 5 minutes ride, walked through multiple alienated alleys, scare off a China lady which made her ran away so fast and so much more. We little girls ditched the usual play dressing up and did something unusual and so not us. We had fun!

p.s: are we still on with the evil plan to destroy that evil someone?

Missing star

2009-03-02T13:39:00.008+08:00

Just like a guy who abuses his partner, apologises the next moment, but will abuse again once jealousy takes control of him.

You are just like that.

Even if you don't abuse me physically, you always do it mentally.

The pain and wound might not be the same but the result is similar.

Get the old you to be back or we are done. I am not kidding when I said I needed the happiness this year.

Tags reply:

NURUL FATHIN AIDA: maceh maceh! how come i look different eh in dat picture? haha!

Mizahh: Maybe it's time you learn to smile properly? Anyway babe, i'm sorry i can't do something eventful for you. Been really tight but i hope you enjoyed it.

Siti: FATHIN AIDA! aku pon ader buat dedication utk kauuu! hahaha. suker gituuu.. gi tgk k!

Mizahh: Nurul die mane? Hahaha!

J A J A: but my hair not kerenting its like mor than just kerenting!ahha!i hate it!
Mizahh: No lah, you just have to know how to handle it and don't be lazy to take care of it. That's all!

Big 2-0, norule

2009-02-27T12:53:00.001+08:00

Happy Tua Day, babe!
Enjoy your day while it lasts. The bunch of us will see you this weekend.

Unfamiliar with you

2009-02-26T14:07:00.013+08:00

I've never been so eager to answer calls on phone. As soon as I stepped out of the bathroom after my shower, I quickly ran to my phone because it was ringing. I get even more nervous to answer because it's an unfamiliar number and one thing in my mind was; the company I applied the job for. This morning, it all happened. He did some interview over the phone and said he'll help me find a better and promising job because I deserve it. All I have to do now is to wait for another call before going for an interview. Alhamdulillah!

Minutes later, got another call from another unfamiliar number. Shrugged. Another job interview? But let's not speak too soon. So it was the pastamania outlet manager to actually apologise for the things that happened while I dined at their place last week. He told me to describe the girl who actually made both my babe and I leaving the place fuming mad and resort to a huge complain to their HQ. He thanked us for the excellent feedback and he would give us discounts the next time we dine in that place again! Babe, next week per? *wide grin* Then another sesat moments in ys? *wider grin*

Go away problems!

2009-02-25T16:59:00.007+08:00

Farkkkkk the present!

I have been keeping every single nonsense inside me for so long! but i didn't mind at all because I thought with patience, it will all be running smoohtly but obviously, it's not!!!

These days, everything is all in a mess.

I miss the past so much I wish I was stronger.

I yearn the future so much I wish I can survive.

I'm left all alone pondering not about my future, but the present.

What is it that I am seeking for?

Who am I exactly?

At this point of time, all I need is my sister.

She's the one who can explain it all to me. She needs to tell me that everything is just a test from the one above and for sure, i'll make it through. I need her to say that I need chill pills because I think too much. Maybe she's right when she says that I need to let down my hair and be the kakak - kakak chill.

It's not that I don't have others to say that to me. But I think I am only immune to her. I feel so much better with her telling me all that she has got to say.

Babe, I need you so much right now.

I need to hear your tating voice in an attempt to console me.

I want those random hugs.

Honestly, I don't know what I am searching for.

Help me through this.

One more request.

Another babe to be here too, please.

I can't help it.

I think I love both my babes more than my own boyfriend. Tsk!

Resist the temptation

2009-02-23T12:10:00.015+08:00

So in love with the past.

Hate to hurt the present.

REALITY CHECK.

"It is better to be with someone who loves you than the one you love."

Why?

Because the one you love will leave for someone who loves them.

True enough?

*******************

Tags reply:

Siti: hahahaha. eh da bes skola blom? aku pon tgh stress duk rumah tkder keje. mengganggur la katerkn .. teringat zaman2 kiter lepas o lvls. haha. eh keje BATA uh!! =PPP
Mizahh: No more lessons, no more work, no more assignments! BATA? tknk seh! Aku lebih rela menganggur tau! Bole tercabut kaki aku yang sungguh pendek ni!

jaja: the post yng baru baru ni ur hair sungguh lawa

Mizahh: thank you to elliot! he did that for me! maybe i'll stick with that hairstyle soon? then all of us can be the minah kerinting back again!

hajar!: card jemputan received!!! yg lain bole ke?
mizahh: hah! good babe! another outing soon?

Harsh world and mini me

2009-02-19T11:54:00.007+08:00

I am super excited and nervous for the coming event. Sent out the small envelopes very early in the morning without taking a bath at all! I can't wait for you gorgeous sisters and hot brothers to receive the envelope tomorrow! Go open your letterbox as soon as possible tomorrow okay!

This is already the third week I ended my SIP period. Up till now, I am still unemployed and am looking for a job. Recession is making everyone suffer and I remember telling Niraf that I don't mind working as a cleaner as long as I can earn money. But even at this point of time, even the cleaner jobs has no vacancy at all!

That aside, congratulations to Kak Ita ang Abg Alid for the new born princess! I am so excited to meet her and the rest of the cousins when we visit the mother and baby some time soon! I can't wait to see the mother dress the baby up! I can't wait.. I can't wait for everything!

Hello lazy me!

2009-02-16T14:52:00.006+08:00

So today is Monday. According to the schedule I have set, I am supposed to be very busy. I have a lot of errands to run where it requires me to drop by Bras Basah Complex and even to the tiny shop near Bugis Junction to complete some tasks. But .. I have not start off with any of the tasks.

I am being such a lazy bum. I woke up very late today and didn't feel like going out of house at all. Now I can easily relax by when the clock strikes five, I really have to activate my panic button. Confirm plus chop plus postman plus the vespa that I'll be nagged at for wasting time. Mati liao.

Let's see, what are the things that I have yet to do:

Visit Bras Basah Complex to print the customised posters.
Drop by the tiny shop near Bugis Junction to purchase the necessary stuffs needed.
Complete the Camtasia project for LO's review.
Prepare the itinerary for upcoming events.

How to complete all these before five?

I. GIVE. UP.

Tag reply:

hajar!: anak sape tu?
Mizahh: Anak kads!

I want a baby too!

2009-02-13T16:53:00.009+08:00

Honestly, I don't know how to tell if a baby is cute or handsome or pretty from a photo. I really suck at telling they look like their father or mother or their paternal or maternal grandparents.

When my cousin tried to describe to me all of those above, I didn't bother to listen at all. I told him off saying I must meet the baby as soon as possible.

We took him in the pram and pushed it for quite a distance. By the time we wanted to play with him, he was already asleep. My cousin pitied the baby and decided to just admire his face but I couldn't bear doing just that. I disturbed him and tried all ways like laughing out loud to wake him up. When he finally woke up with his frustrated face and almost wanted to cry, I made sure he didn't cry at alllllllllllllll. Baby so cleverrrrrrrr!

Baby nak kenal - kenal with anak pakcik ****?
Nakk?
Later we go meet her okay? She's also a cute baby girl tauu!

My cousin's attempt to make a joke of all the coincidence.

First time I am saying this of a baby, he is super cute! He is very very friendly. Not that he did talk when he saw me but he was always smiling whenever we tried to talk to him in baby language. Macam paham, we know.

He is very very fair. See the colour contrast, maynnn. Mother said I was that fair when I was a baby too. Now, lets search for my baby photos in the drawers and admire myself.

The first thing my cousin said was his cheeks are just the same like mine. Looks like we'll end up in the same boat baby, invisible cheek bones. How sad.

Let's meet more often, Syukry ~~Suzuki~~Marzuki! Papa dia siaaaak, kept mentioning suzuki to everyone.

Tag reply:

jaja: make that fast!ahaha!i cant wait!now im feeling extreme happy, excited!
Mizahh: Soon babe! It's coming very soon. I'm excited too!

Get ready your gears

2009-02-08T16:37:00.000+08:00

Everywhere I bloghopped to my cousin's blog, I read the same thing.
Everywhere I meet my cousins, they can't stop asking me a question.
Everytime my cousins see me online, they ask me the same thing again.

So I am being such a good cousin to all of them and am already planning something really interesting for all of us.

Just wait for that small parcel to reach your doorstep, URSP-ians!
I am VERY excited myself.

Meanwhile, visit our fresh new page sweethearts! CLICK HERE..

Tags reply:

JAJA: u mean something is planned redi?or wat?
Mizahh: Nah uh, not telling! Just wait for it to come. =)

anoii: now i know where i got my sumpah cute actions from....nenekku SALLY!!!!
Mizahh: Now i know where i got my sepet eyes!

nurul fathin aida: omg. de pelamin sooo cantik la!!

Mizahh: Okay fats, control yourself tau. Jgn pengsan depan laptop sudahhh pls. Tkde org nak selamatkan nanti.

Siti: FATHIN DA NAK START BERANGAN tauu biler bab2 tgk org kahwin ni.. hehehehehe.

Mizahh: Alamak, lagik tak tau. Bdk tu dah smangat collect duit nak kahwin sumer oiiii! Gaji dah bomb aper..

We had all that on that day

2009-02-07T09:28:00.008+08:00

This post should come way back but I have only managed to compile and upload all the 615 photos we took.

In the two days event (minus the slacking Friday), we did almost everything. It felt so great because the last time our closest cousin got married was when i was still in first year Poly.

We were made the mat and minah pencuci pinggan on Saturday morning. And because the parents chose to cook our own dishes during the Nikah ceremony, we were also needed to help with the arrangements. We were not asked to help to cook because our parents know we would spoil the food.

Here you have the pengantin who was forced to smile because apparently she prefers to smile without showing her teeth which looks like not smiling at all.
"Smile with teeth! Smile wide open."
"Alaa korang leceh la."

We spoilt the dais even before the bride and groom sat on it.

We became the first few people to take photos with both the bride and groom.

We had our own 'secret' pose.

We had the 'serious' pose as asked by the photographer.

.. and also the 'raise your hands' pose (not korek your hidung, abg yan) also asked by the photographer. We thought jump shot would look good but the dais might not be able to hold us all.

At night, when all our parents went to another wedding, we had our mini photoshoot..

..where we played with the lightings, shifted the chair a bit and posed a lot. Before we call it a day, we cleanup the place, ate more foods and played the BSC improvised game.

The very next day, we had these two boys to laugh at.

We also had Maman, Andy and Pendek to help us out to be the mat cuci pinggan for the day.

The 'abang - abang' was saboed to sing the most difficult song ever.

We, four girls were happily seating and then our names were called up. Dayyyyyyymn! We were saboed too.

When they announced that the groom has already reached, we did what we have to do.

Supposedly, there should be only 3 gates to go through. But we decided to be mean and added one more and that made their side so kanchong. Why? Because they ran out of packets to give.

But we still didn't move. We waited till they came out with a packet containing enough money for all of us.

And there we have it. The first photo with the bride and groom.. Again, we are the first.

It was a very busy day for them because guests keep coming in and they had no time for breaks. Abg yan was kind enough to feed them while they did their work. Haha!

In case you are wondering how all of us are so close to each other even with the mat - mat cuci pinggan for the day. It is all because we've known each other since young. The three guys are Kamal's friend. Pendek and Maman are Yati's DK friend. Pendek used to be in the same school as Abg Yan. Maman is Anoi's beau. Pendek used to be someone's ex (tk perlu). So you see, it's a small small world afterall.

We celebrated the groom's birthday where he was so touched. Very touched.

We had the most unique wedding cake. Not a cake exactly. Not cupcakes either. But it still looked very beautiful than a wedding cake.

We played with the super duper big glasses. Afterwhich, nenek called for us.. and we thought she wanted to scold us.

But no, she joined us in.

Then we put aside the bride and groom and let nenek be our superstar.

No, we weren't the superstar because we got no peminat setia.

Aper lagik, everyone join in please!

And did I tell you our colour theme wasn't planned at all? Yes, it was all coincidence.

To answer to Nurul Fathin Aida' question to see the dais...

Here it is...

Now all of us feel so complete.

Tags reply:

JAJA: gahhh!i miss you guys like a lot!
mizahh: miss URSP so much too!! Don't worry, something really exciting is coming up.

nurul fathin aida: fats kau panggil aku. sampai nyer hattiiii. neway, aku nk pelamin like dat la. so cantik!
mizahh: fats kan cam short form gitu. oh tak eh? Errr, when are you getting married? Saved enough money already?

WHAT IS THIS?

2009-02-05T23:14:00.004+08:00

Till the next update.

Nice try bitcho

2009-02-05T13:41:00.009+08:00

Whatever took place earlier today has certainly affected my mood. It's not necessary to start a conversation to make yourself seemed friendly. It's not at all needed. Whats more with you trying to sound (very) concerned about my present, future and my whole life. Totally not the right thing to do.

As much as I badly want to speak to you, it is that much that I hate you. You should know that after spoiling most things. Everything is now tangled and it's all thanks to you. Btw, nice try to get me to speak out but i would not want to dissapoint my loved one(s) anymore.

Because of that I found myself very productive because I managed to complete the poster and two blog layouts that i owe my girlfriends. Right now, I am super bored and I change my Display Picture every 15 minutes.

So bored.

Tags reply:

amalia: hey u linked me!!!
mizahh: yes, i did! Remember you left your link in my lj before?

Perangai disturbia

2009-02-02T14:17:00.006+08:00

And the award for falling sick the most times goes to ...

RAMIZAH !

Yes, again.

Fell sick 7 times late last year and have been sick for 5 times since early this year.

How cool is that?

Anyway, school's out scream and shout!!!! *gelek ramai - ramai*
Alamak, cannot cannot..
No more voice already.

You scream for me, i'll do the gelek.

Spice girls boy

2009-01-29T07:26:00.000+08:00

Let’s meet tonight and we’ll hear you sing viva forever again.

So orbit but so cute!

don't like that lea

2009-01-29T05:21:00.001+08:00

My lovelies always do this to me.
They jolly well know that I work office hour but they still wanna ask me out.
Some nak go tong seng to satisfy their craving...
some ask me to catch movie together with a couple of them..
while ada yang saje nak sakitkan hati aku lah tu...
Some even had the cheek to ask me to leave work early.
Ape ni korang, don’t make me regret for not taking up that full time shift job can???
Worst, don’t make me cannot sit still at work thinking that I have missed out so much fun can?

Then again, I know it won’t spell much fun without me kan? I know. *flips hair*

*********************************************************

Today is my last day at pasir panjang.
Tomorrow will be my last day at shenton.

How come I am already missing these two places already? Cannot be lea. I hate this feeling of separation. Unbearable.

Suka sekali!

2009-01-28T12:06:00.002+08:00

Yesterday’s evening was great to wrap up the holiday. Don't you think so? *Wink manyak manyak wooooooooooooooh*

Professional help, anyone?

2009-01-27T10:21:00.000+08:00

The whole of last week was horrible in sense of emotion and the situation. All my life, I have never ever felt very angry, pissed, jealous, vengeful and all that negative feelings at the same time. I felt like strangling myself, I felt like putting poison in everyone’s drink, I wished the worst for all of us and tsk, it was very cruel. The situation was very hard to handle and I hated myself so much. I really don’t know how I ended that way but it was really disgusting, just awful. Whatever symptoms and descriptions they have for major depression disorder, I had all that. For once I wasn’t kidding when I mentioned visiting a specialist. I thought I really need that, no joke.

Loss. Lonely. Empty. Fear.

Nonetheless, something inside me keeps reminding me that I should pull through at least until the end of the week before proceeding to see psychotherapist/psychiatrists. I should count myself lucky because on Friday before meeting my usual cliques for our dear friend’s birthday celebration, I managed to do a miracle to myself and bring myself back to the real world, reality. Besides, if we don’t help ourselves, who would right? It was a close shave to backing out the whole plan because I was afraid I would spoil the whole celebration but I guess I didn’t because everyone was still commenting about my laughter, which was a good start to the good old, me.

Thank god it is over. I wouldn’t wanna face that again. EVER.

Lessons in heartbreak

2009-01-20T20:16:00.004+08:00

“Weird, wasn’t it, how a person could be a stranger to you and then, in an instant, become your whole life? How did that happen anyway?”
- Cathy Kelly

If there’s one thing which can be very confusing, it would be our feelings. Maybe it’s just mine.

The strange feeling I have each time you are with me, I think of you, received a text from you – everything that involves you; it just came without any warning. What was that? It felt so right, making me feel like I was the princess enjoying the sparkling bubbles and skipping my way through in my own wonderland. But with the presence of complicated situations in life, destroying the feeling was the only way out. That is very painful.

It’s like you didn’t ask for something but it came. When you have learnt to accept it, you are so unlucky but had to let it go. What’s the point?

Ah I know. So we won’t take things around us for granted. But what about people who got hurt in the process? Isn’t it pitiful that they got hurt because of others’ mistakes? Isn’t it unfair?

So I heard everyone is lucky in their own shade. You will be rewarded if you’re good and have to pay for the price you've done.

Just what is the story behind life actually? Patience? Perseverance? Determination? What do we need to have? All? Can we afford to?

Ya allah, i know you are testing each and everyone of us down here. I believe there are some people who are going through worse than me. I know it is all about going through all your tests and i also know that you are the fairest who will reward us at the end. At least, give me the strength to continue this phase. Don’t keep making me pretend, pretty please.

Tag reply:

HajarAnak Razik: I believe the hajar is hajar anak tahir la babe. i mean, if its nt me, then shud be her!! hahaha!! susah ader byk hajar ni kann.. i tauuu...
Mizahh: Okay bagus! If slalu gini, aku can dpt surat hijau already, korang tau tak?

Serve betol betol bole?

2009-01-15T15:38:00.003+08:00

Serve the nation kebabai!

When armyboy constantly debate about serving the nation with me, I am close to giving him a tight slap. In the first place, he should realise that isn’t serving the nation. One, I don’t see the need to guard that place because the company can jolly well hire some professional security guards. Two, this is not even close to serving the nation. This is membabi buta coming up with a place just so the guards’ team has duty. So what if they are guards. At least let them guard something more appropriate than that ridiculous company.

Wait till you read this. Then what about NSmen who are posted to be drivers? It doesn’t matter to me that they are not serving the nation directly. That’s fine but then apa cerita if they report for duty but have nothing to do the whole day? Report for work or report face only? Tu apa cerita, siapa nak enlighten aku?!

So if you were to compare, the guards are really working their wits out, sacrificing their sleep and maybe their own safety to protect the company whereas the drivers? Wah lao, the drivers are so much lucky I must say! Driver here drive there drive people around and then can shake their smelly and ntah muscular ke tak legs. Fair or unfair? Nonsense or make sense? Korang semua conpuse ke apa?

This one really make my blood go up up up and almost nak explode! Ini sudah salah siah hahaha! Bile part salah siah tu kalau budak budak yang sewaktu dengannya nampak, aku can mati liao kene rembat terok. Tapi aku tak takot pasal mataer aku matrep okay! Perangai, I know. This paragraph sungguh tak perlu because it’s like how I always utter nonsense to add on to my stories and kind people like Anoi will only reply ‘ahhhh’ aje. Ape aku merepek sekarang aku pun tak tau. K part ni aku tau semua orang conpuseeeeeeee banget.

Still, please lah eh, when you say serve the nation, please let them have the duty to really serve the nation. Don’t waste time effort and cut the crap can? Not serving at all lor!

Dalam erti kata laen, kepala hotak sama anda!

Abih ni apa cerita sekarang aku kecoh just the same mcm makcik kat pasar bila harga ikan increase. Cuba cakap siket kisah sebenarnya aper? Why like thatttttttt????

abg MAGs

2009-01-14T21:15:00.002+08:00

2 days of rotating shift.
1 pathethic off day. (but still have to be on standby! ANOI-ing)

I guess I have to get used to his routine because the armyboy will be so busy “serving the nation” which is of no use, I think. Have to get used to the strong windy sound each time he ring me up. Have to get used to him not hearing me clearly because of the poor reception. Have to get used to book him way early so that he can jot it down in his schedule.

Go on. Tell me this is ending soon. Comes May, it’s another torture because it will be a month of silence. It’s pretty sad that you have to spend the birthday in the dark thick overseas jungle.

That aside, he finally brought me out to get the chapatti which he owed me since last year’s fasting month. Unfortunately, the shop didn’t have that on the menu that day so we roamed over to another place but only to disappoint ourselves again.

He wanted to have some fun so he suggested we played in the rain, got so drenched and then boarded the super duper cold bus. Korang should try that activity some time. It is seriously mintak kena smack kat dahi because we ended up shivering even after we alighted from the bus.
Since he couldn’t get me my chapatti, we went present hunting for the already basi birthday boy where we bought his favourite; cap. The armyboy claimed that he knew the birthday boy’s preference because they share the same taste. I totally disagree but we still bought what he chose though cos only I think it looks nice too!

When we handed the present, the already basi birthday boy was sungguh shy to accept it that he hid behind armyboy. Haha! So cute! Of course, he loved the cap cos first, it is a cap we are talking here and second, his ahbeng taste change to dolmat – rep taste already. What’s happening to these people?

Now who is so baik hati and sungguh mulia to help me send my phone for repair? I really have no time! I have so many things pending just because i have so little time. Tsk!

Tag replies:

hajar: babe.have u heard those who laughs the loudest are the ones having the most problems.to me i think it's a fact.well that's in my case.hmm.lets just take it into stride.kita ni yang da nk masok.. dunia yang lebih besar....haiz....."BEGINILA NASIB HIDUPKU YANG MALANG..." ahahhahah...k aku tgh boring laaaaaaaaa dlm klas
mizahh: tak pernah dgr pun! mane kau dgr ni? sembrg je. haha! anyway, ni hajar mane ni? Aku conpuse la sehh!

close to zero

2009-01-12T12:28:00.008+08:00

the one generous with laughters..

the one with loudest laughter..

but how come the one with the littlest happiness?

no respect for others?

too ignorant?

too selfish?

too many wrongdoings?

or think too much?

.. tell me what it is!!!!

Done.

With.

Pretending.

******************************

2 days mc yet again. I am getting bored of this routine where i have to wake up very early not for work but for another visit to the doctors. Today is no exception. It's like the more i visit the doctor, the more health problems will be unveiled. This is so frustrating! VERY!!

The people at work must thought that i am just trying to skip work but please, that wasn't my intention at all. As much as i dread going to work, i still want to be present everyday. That is not possible with the deteriorating health.

Starting of a brand new week, Nizam will never fail to wish me good day at work and it will be without fail that i will not report for work.
Starting of everyday, Fathin will never fail to send me an email at work and it will still be without fail i have to tell her that i am at home resting my very weak body.
Starting of brand new week too, Farin would laugh at me cos it's the end of weekend but too bad for him, it will still be without fail that i laugh at him back cos i got a few days of mc unlike him who have to slog himself. Hah!

One after another.
No wonder i've been falling sick every now and then since the past few weeks.
Now it is another load on my shoulder.
How to handle this?
I don't and i really don't wanna make anyone especially my mother worried.
&that's one of the many things i have in mind which people thought make me think too much.
I wanna make it clear here that i am not thinking of uneccesary matters. This is serious matter we are talking about! Sometimes i just wish for a little happiness which can stick with me while i go the rough phases. Just a tiny bit will do.

But then again.. I wish.

You are fcking re-dho!

2009-01-09T23:09:00.000+08:00

Not supposed to think about it. Because that was in the past. Pathetic past.
Not thinking about it. Because I think I am leading a better life now.
But I just can’t stop wondering… what was your actual motive in the very first place?

When you got to know me … what was your motive? – You knew we would click so well and you yourself knew you would go back to her.
When you started treating me more than a friend … what was your motive? You knew you would go back to her. Why must you develop another feeling for us?
When you started being possessive of me … what was your motive? You knew you would still go back to her. Were you even aware that you would hurt me?
When you decided to be in a relationship with me … what was your motive? You knew you would go back to her. Were you trying your luck or playing a fool on yourself?

Did you think I was a cheap girl for you? Did you think I was a stopover for you before going back to her? Did you think you won’t hurt me? Or you thought you were just following your heart? Or you really wanted to cheat my feelings?

What was all that about? What made you think I could be the victim? What made you think I could be the one?! What about me?? Why did you have to choose me?!

Don’t tell me this is all predestined. I know that too well but you know you can do a slight change to that if you avoid things initially or even in the later part. Don’t tell me I am so ridiculous for not believing in fate because I jolly well trust fate more than anything! Don’t you go blaming fate for everything because it all depends on you!

Why do you have to ask about me? You have her now.
Why do you have to be concerned about me? You have her now.
Why do you have to treat me more than a friend? You have her now.
Why do you have to send me those texts? You have her now.
Why do you have to feel sorry for me? You love her.
Why do you have to feel guilty? You love her.

Are you confused? Are you fickle minded? Are you indecisive? Who do you actually needs? What do you actually want?

It isn’t making any sense now! It is all in a big mess! I’m sorry if I seem like blaming you but you know it’s the only right thing to do! Spill everything to me!

Re-dho! I just don’t get it!

LALALA, nama dia

2009-01-08T20:57:00.001+08:00

I am back in office. I know there’s a few who missed me while I was gone. *kening naik2*

Yesterday don’t know whose luck was good or bad that the shuttle bus was caught in a traffic jam. Why good? Why bad? Good because it came an hour later and we reached office at 10! I know I am such a good employee who loves skiving. Bad because my back was aching so bad and there was nothing to lean on.

Most of DBS staffs were calling up their bosses to ask if the bus was coming but I was all calmed hearing all their conversations. A guy whom often board the same bus came sat beside me. This one must story full detail but if by any chance he were to find this blog, then I mati liao.

Before that, let me do a brief description so that korang can visualize better. Hahaha perangai babi! He’s very petite, quite fair, small eyes (anoi suke!), has a very very cute smile and one glance, I think he looks like Chinese. Maybe because of his small eyes? That’s about it; I suck at describing lagik tak tau (LTT).

The minute he sat beside me, he turned and asked if I was Malay. With the blur face that I have and the sengau voice that I still have, I said yes to him and quickly turned away. Abih mamat ni tros want to continue the conversation pulak. First he said he thought I was a Filipino (part ni aku mcm nak cekik dia jer) and yes, he can be included to another person who thought I look like one. Then he went on asking my name, my residence... then he paused. I also took the chance to look away again just so he won’t continue the conversation because the cough was the killer this morning. Minutes later, he presented me his name card and this time, I sumpah wanna laugh out loud as it felt like some formal meeting.

That actually took so much time and lets all thank him for making me forget about the fever and backache I was having.

Dah gitu aku pikirkan dahbes. When we walked into the office, yes, he is in the same office with me, tak tau fortunately ke unfortunately, he called for me and asked to call him later. Part gini je aku dah cannot think. Nah, not again!

And up till now, a day later, I have not ring him up and planning not to. Hahaha! Tapi I know manusia manusia like fathin and anoi yang tak pernah fail untuk mendesak will pester me to call him. You girls think I don’t know korang too well kan?

My smashing 19th!

2009-01-06T15:18:00.011+08:00

Despite facing such a huge blow the week before, I still had fun with my lovelies! They brought me on cloud nine not only on my birthday, but the whole week itself! I felt so appreciated!

Supposedly, Niraf boystar and some others were to join us but they had last minute work commitments to attend to. At last, there was only the six of us including myself. Even though it wasn't the full squat, it was still as noisy and chaotic. We almost embarassed ourselves in that restaurant. Haha!

We were such freaks because when we mentioned everyone to be properly dressed, all of us dressed the best we could. I think all of them looked so hawt!

We had the usual people who includes the Abg Botak Abg Gondol.

The first surprise he gave me was when he reached with this hair or almost hairless hairstyle.

Then there's another lady who never fail to argue with the botakboy the whole day.. I think they were working out their chemistry.

She came so smart! I thought she wanted to attend some meeting only to find out she was from some school event. LOL!

Another one who never gave up with the 'one' pose..

..who gets very excited for the outing.

Then we also have our abg kerinting (i know he'll be saying "so rude of you.." if he reads this) who showed he was so afraid of heights later on..

and las but not the very least, our one lady who panic too much to plan for the day..

She never stop saying, "Mizah, i'm never good at this. It was always you to do all the thing! Arrggh!"

We had our few hours of must-have eating session while we played 'truth or dare' and sing along session. But before that, the guys surprised me with a birthday cake which plastered a big smile on my face. You can see the drastic change from a tiny smile to a very big smile with teeth when they handed me the cake while singing the birthday song.

So suweeeeet!

Moving on, we wanted to go for dessert somewhere near there but msot of us were full. We went out near the cruise area for fresh air and something caught our attention instantly.

Without wasting any second, all of us rushed (we literally walked briskly) to the counter and up up up we went to the 15th level...

Look at our excited faces! This time all of us still haven't disclose the 'aku sumpah takut' faces.

So what caught all of our attention actually?

.
..
...
..
.
THIS!

Yes, the cable car!!

It was the first time for most of us. Despite the second ride for him, Kamal kept mum the whole time we were in there. He couldn't move even an inch! We tried as much to disturb him and distract him and we managed to do it like for a few seconds, then it was back to him keeping quiet. Sigh..

And in that photo above, is the most he could do. Most of the time, he was reciting all the doas and when we manage to distract him, we would talk about our next fabolous plan.

The other guy in that photo, on the other hand, was so excited looking at the mini sized cars, living creatures and so on from above. That was his countless rides of cable car.

That was lina's second time riding that and we are so proud of her because she was the calmest of us all other than our abg botak.

It was Anoi's first time too and she was the first person to get excited just mentioning about cable car. Once we got in the cabin, okay i shall save her the embarassement.

But the guy next to her, i must must must mention something about him! His reactions very classic! He was very calm among us all, not showing that he was very excited for the ride (though i know he was). When the cabin went out of the building, he was like shrieking and screaming all at the same time. He even asked all of us to relax and calm down when he's one of the few who were so afraid. Hahahaha! He even became the "abg albab" for the day!

But! Still cannot topple your name of Abg Kerinting to all of us. Awwww, you're such a big bro to us other than Kamal. HEHEHEHE!

Don't even ask how i reacted. Because i think i was the lamest among them. I even made the cabin become so solemn for a minute then we burst out laughing. HAHAHAHAH! Perangai re-dho, i know!

Stopped by Mount Faber, our must-go hangout place when we visit Harbourfront, where we feeling2 tourist mautnyer. Reading the histories, talking with some weird accents to the other tourists.

Before we ended the day, we had live telecast wishes just for me in front of the mrt station. Andy and Maman who were very embarrassed because there were insanely large crowds on that day, joined in the fun too! They even had a big hug for me! Suweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

Thanks guys! You guys don't know how much you guys means to me and how happy i was to have you guys on my day. I didn't need all the lavish, i didn't need surprises. I'm sorry that i cried a lil while we were boarding the cable car because i was reminded of someone who wasn't even thinking of me. But i hope you guys had fun cause i sure did! It was the best feeling ever to have spent the day with every single one of you! Thank you for being there for me and thank you for the endless birthday song which you guys sang at all the places we went.

To sparklesBABES and puteraPUTERI who went the extra mile to organise a mini picnic specially for me and Rudy, thank you so much for that. I had fun sharing the food, playing the frisbee game and thank you so much for the presents! Meeting each and everyone of you was already good enough.

Ignore that i look like a maid here. Thank you to Farin who took the time to spend the evening with me, thanks a lot! I know you are such a busy armyboy with only 2 days off but having you to sacrifice the time to find me at that big place was priceless. It was a great idea to come up with that classic game because now we know the truth and yay, we should do it more often so we can blush more! I am so touched you did all the challenges for me. Thank you for the bag too!

Thank a million to all of you including the two strangers who have made my day! I love the simple celebrations! I really do not know how to express my gratitude towards every single one of you but you guys would always be in my prayers. =)

Temperature risin'

2009-01-06T13:13:00.003+08:00

Today is the last day of my MC. I am not at all recovering despite having the whole of yesterday to rest. Today, i woke up with a bad backache, high fever and that's not all, i feel weak all over. Supposed to take my medicines now but i am trying to avoid it as much because when i eat it, i feel weaker. But if i don't, my temperature will rise. Sungguh tating u know!

It's even more tating to see my room in such a mess. Since i started working, this place has turned to something so unpleasant to see. No matter how weak i am, i still managed to clean the room, discard some memories and wiped off the dusts. After 3 hours of cleaning, my room is sparkling clean!

... How come i'm losing myself?...

i am still alive

2009-01-05T16:55:00.004+08:00

"Cos only yesterday i realised i've lost faith in love."

I know i know it's been so long i last updated and i also know a lot of people miss me and my entries already because everywhere i go and everywhere people see my prettyugly face, they'll say, "update your blog la!" I know la all of you miss me so much kan?

I guess alot of things have happened recently or shoud i say, in the last bits of 2008. Things have been very difficult for me with the never ending family problems which i am so sick of it and my own personal problems. My absence from this humble space is sort of a getaway for me to forget my past and try to find myself back again. I've not recover fully but i know it will be soon that all of you will see me up and running again. Just pray for me okay? I hope it will be pretty soon cos i am so freaking tired of being like this. Whatsmore with the ms reds whom have not visited me for more than a month now. You wouldn't wanna imagine my emotions and feelings all over. It's disastrous!

2009 so far has been very well for me except that i am down with 38 degrees fever, bad sore throat which causes some people to think i sound like ramli sarip (a ah sehh, now i realise i really do sound like him), constant coughing, swollen eyes and difficulty in breathing. Tell me how pathethic is that. But that's okay because i have some people to keep me company while i rest.

Mistaken identity: Pakis-pinne

2008-12-18T21:33:00.002+08:00

Ask me about my new work.

It is not that new actually. Just that I got transferred from tanjong pagar to harbourfront or rather, pasir panjang to be exact, because my supervisor is on block leave and I am needed to assist a project here.

The first day I came, I was late by almost half an hour. Reached the busstop and had to walk pass a construction site, climb up a hill before I could reach the building. That’s not all. The building itself is very big consisting lobby A – D. Mine is located at lobby C thus, another long walk before I could reach the office at level 5. Luckily that is only for the first day because from the next day onwards, I can take the free shuttle bus.

So by the time I settled down at my new desk, it’s close to lunch time. The new office is way bigger than the one at tanjong pagar. It’s more like a multi racial kind hub because there are an equal number of Chinese, Indians, Malays and also other races. Hehe! I thought could at least go for lunch with the new colleagues but they were so busy so I stayed in and ate the sandwiches mother packed for me in the morning.

The first friend I made was the cleaner. She started conversing to me in English as she thought I was a Filipino. Yes, another person who thought I am a Filipino and that already sums up to more than a bunch of people who thought I really look like one. That doesn’t include people who thought I am a Pakistani. Oh, don’t get me started on that. I shall consider writing up a book or something on mistaken identity. Side track is very bad for me, y’know.

Now back to my story. The next friend I made was the T&O guy. He invited me for lunch but I had to give it a miss because I was already full after eating the sandwiches. As I’ve mentioned earlier, there are quite a number of Indians here so they converse in their own language whenever they talk to each other. This guy, he is macam hero hindustan. From his face to the way he looks at you and till the way he talks. Now that I am describing him, I realize he looks like Hritik Roshan! And if I heard correctly, his name is Abishek. Mind you, he doesn’t speak Tamil but Hindi! Tak dapat SRK, this guy also can la! I tak cerewet sgt bab2 ni. Hehehehehe!

Looking at the condition and environment of the new office, I think I can adapt to it faster than the previous one. Must not speak too soon because I’m afraid that I might screw everything. Still, I think this place is less stressful.

Tag replies:

SimpliSiti: Gathering soooooon horrr! cepat! aku da rindu rudy nii.. hahahaha!!
Mizahh: Taknakk! Kau rindu rudy jerrr. Hahaha! See you on Sunday!

SimpliSiti: aku bacer2 entry2 lamer aku.. and i found this.. " ALA GONJENG.. GONJENG TIPUUUU!!!" ingat tk? hahahaha!
Mizahh: Ingat ingat ingat! Gonjennnnnnnnnnng! Gonjeng tipu! So cute gitu!!! Awww those days. LOL!! Betol2 nye takde keje eh kau!

Take me as your wife

2008-12-08T11:41:00.004+08:00

First and foremost, Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha to all Muslims and to anyone celebrating!

Today in history, (which reminds me of on 22nd december... err... hahahah!) I am very proud of myself! No, everyone in this island yang sungguh kecik and aman dan damai should be proud of me! Really! Since my parents are not at home, i was tasked to do the daily chores today. I made bbie wake me up before he goes for solat but then he woke me up after he came back.. Okay jugak la tu.

The fever that I got yesterday was still running but I managed to cook the rice, heat up the dishes, boil some water, prepare a few drinks, cooked some eggs, tidy up the living room and rooms, hang the wet clothes outside and swept the floor. I did it all by myself! Mother must be so proud of myself that she wanna marry me off right now! So what if it is a small thing to you. In case you don't know, I am someone who cannot complete these tasks without help from anyone and by doing it alone and without any mistakes at all, I am very proud of myself okay! So that can be kept in my Achievements book of record. Wooohh!

So much for complaining that I know nuts about being a lady and all kan bbie. Now that I have done all these, ade tokoh jadi Ibu tak ni? Ahhh, itu tak penting! Yang penting I happy!

So now i'm left with ironing my clothes for later, cleanse the toilet here and there, dress up for Nenek's house and I'm all set to go! My Nenek already called up million times her cucu cucu yang the parents are not home asking us to come early. Worried that we might be so lonely and when she called me a couple of minutes ago, I told her i just finished doing the chores and need another bath, she went, "Wah Ija, kau kemas rumah?" Hahaha! Nenek I sungguh cute.com!

Whee! I am feeling very very happy because big achievement babe! Hahahaha! I know Anoi must be cursing me while reading this and she'll go, "Gila nye budak. Mati taknak.." Don't think I don't know babe. LOL!

Loner

2008-12-07T10:29:00.008+08:00

Sadly to say, Kamal Yati and myself are spending our Hari Raya Aidiladha at home because our parents are out of town. Sungguh terbiar like that, but! we are enjoying it so much. Haha!

Mother and Bapak are out of town until Tomorrow or Tuesday. Still, i'm forced to go to Nenek's house cause i heard she's ordering lotsa foods for all her cucu yang 24 jam kebuluran.

If you look back at the two previous posts, i mentioned about the trailer recording my boys did for RIA. So here's the actual thing. Listen to it!

Tell me is it only me who thinks that Andy sound so professional in here? Dah jadi abg cool ah since birthday is nearing soon eh!
Rahman, i always smile whenever you open your mouth to talk because there's just something about the way you talk. This time, without fail, you make me smile again. Sumpah tk bedek, you sound so rilek nak gila in here! As quoted, "so flawless!"
Kamal! You, as usual, with your nonsense wooooooh. Sungguh tak perlu eh! Panggil meowmeow nye tatak baru tau. LOL!
Bbie, your voice eh, i pun don't know what to comment. You sound very the tak kuasa, you know!

Still, good job boys!

Tag replies:

anoii: emosi ketara! melampau!! haha!!
Mizahh: of course la ketara! Kemarok what! Hahahaha! Feeling mesti mau kuat. LOL!

SimpliSiti: Gathering soooooon horrr! cepat! aku da rindu rudy nii.. hahahaha!!
Mizahh: Okayyyyy set! Aku pun dah tired keje je, tkde excitement betol! Haha!

Something we all look up to

2008-12-05T21:29:00.001+08:00

If I were to mention the word family, what is the first thing that will come to your mind? It would be love for most of you. Others would be happiness. But for me, it would be bonding. That is the most important factor needed in a family. Bonding comes with love, care and concern towards each other. It actually moulds you into the person you are now. It accounts your confidence level, determination, perseverance and personality. Then again, at the end of the day, it depends on you as an individual. Whether you want to make it or break it. Oh, you know what I mean.

I love seeing the bonds between families and how close they are. Sadly, I don’t get that since young. I have to admit that I do get jealous every time I see the strong bonds in a family. When I was a kid, my father didn’t spend much time with us but I don’t blame him for that because I understand he was the soul breadwinner. The next person I’m close to would be my mother. She takes care of me the whole time and sometimes I feel like she’s both my mother and father. As I grew up, my mother started working and the more we don’t spend time with each other. That’s how my family is. We don’t spend time together and the only exception would be special occasion like Hari Raya.

Even with that, I am blessed to have my cousins who showered me with so much love and with them that I see the bond in us. Even some are jealous of us.

But on Thursday, I finally felt it. The bond of a family, so close to the heart. Not only with the cousins around but with the presence of adults. I am so elated just thinking about it! It was Maman’s mama’s birthday and she wanted all of us to be there celebrating with her. Since it was a weekday, everyone rushed from work. Or was it only me because the rest ended work early? That’s not the point. The point is everyone was there. Maman’s family, Bbie’s family. Anoi, Kamal, Andy and I were there. Each and every one of us was there. I could feel the warmth and love, literally. No kidding.

Suddenly, I was smiling the whole time and in my mind, I was thanking Allah and everyone for allowing me to feel the bond, even once. Up till now, I am very contented with the fact that I was given the chance to feel the strong bond in a family. Very contented. Syukur! Now I know that no matter what happens, I know that they will be there for me. So now I see a bigger family, eh? Of course I won’t forget my own family because this is just the beginning and I’m sure we will be closer than this, okay mak? Insya’allah.

Warning! Very brief!

2008-12-02T22:25:00.007+08:00

Again again again! Work has not only taken too much of my time but my mind too! This is so frustrating!

Thankfully, I have my lovely cousins who could see how stressful I’ve been and how shagged I looked every single day so they decided to bring me out to the cheerful and colourful world during the weekends.

The initial plan was to head town and catch a movie but bbie was so busy with his activities that the cousins and some of her friends walked over to plaza singapura. By then, we changed our mind to something more adventurous and exciting. Walked over town area, played the tourists game, explored and discovered some interesting places and end the day with a knowledgeable trip to the museum.

I suggest that all of you go visit the Museum because you can see the different types of displays that are put up there. Very inspiring, yknow! We did learn a lot of new things and yes, we enjoyed ourselves!

Despite the long hours of walk, I think the company did an excellent job in lifting my spirit. Not only that, the best scene that happened was when bbie met the whole family and someone was super duper friendly…

Anyway, I think you guys should hear the short recording at for RIA’s 18th birthday. They did an excellent job and I am very proud of my boys! Good job Andy, Pendek, Rahman and Kamal!

P.S: Brief entry! Bbie dah bising cos I told him i'm going to the toilet. Bah!

How to?

2008-11-30T10:59:00.003+08:00

Still breathing. Still surviving.

Too many things in mind. Too much time spent on working. So little time alone. Too much responsibilities.

How to survive?

But at least i'm happy that even our own boySTAR remembers December. LOLS!

Perhaps another secret letter?

2008-11-23T11:12:00.003+08:00

I miss the guy who knows a lot about me.
I miss the guy who shares everything with me.
I miss the guy who would go the extra extra mile just so it could be a little special everyday.
I miss the guy who would secretly smile at me in Flavours.
I miss the guy who I would coincidently bump into whenever I am in school.
I miss the guy who made everything seemed so easy.
Gosh, I shouldn't be thinking about it. At all.
I miss Muhd Faizal...

How come things change so fast? I don't know your sudden dissapearance or like you always said, "gone with the wind to save the day.." but I know, you have your own reasons to do so. I am pretty sure you are doing it for my sake. Still, I don't blame you for avoiding because I know you always handle us the best.

Wherever you are, I pray that you will be fine and everything goes on well for you. Thanks a million for all the memories because you've taught me all about patience, perseverance and determination.

Close to your heart

2008-11-13T21:04:00.004+08:00

This is my attempt to make a personal comeback. Apparently, Nizam complained that my entries now are all about work. What to do kan, my world revolves around kerja only what now. Anyway, let me get this whole entry started.

I just realise that life is so unpredictable. Whatever you decide or plan, it doesn't really happen the way you want it to be. Don't you think so? Most of the time you won't be able to see the reason for it to happen that way but sooner or later, you will realise how Allah has planned it for you.

“I know you probably wanna know why I love you.”
“No, am not asking.”
“Oh c’mon. I know you do.”
“Errrrrrrr?”
“I love you because of your nose, your mouth, your eyes, your big stomach, your hands, your fingers, your body, your smile. I love all about you. I love you.”
“oooookay. Then what if I lose all that in an accident ke or if something bad happen?”
“That’s what I am trying to tell you! Love should not be followed by a reason. Love comes just like that and the first time I see you, I like you. The first time you open your talkative mouth, I fell in love. I don’t know what it was with you but it just felt right. So you see, it just happened.”
“Thanks for the sweet talk.”
“Hahahahahaha! You're most welcome, sweet talker’s lover. Someone’s blushing, no need to use blusher.”
“Pfffffffft!”

Peterpan, I know I’ve been such a spoil brat. I spout nonsense whenever I am sleepy, I vent my anger on your arms whenever the crews are not performing up to the standard I have set and I keep making you do things which are totally out of your way. I wanna thank you for tolerating me and not being mad or upset about it at all. I really appreciate it so much. You know how I am so pathetically different from them but I want you to know that I am willing to do anything for you as well.

Sometimes i wonder why do we even got close to someone and know them so well but only to end up being so awkward towards each other..

Am I making any sense?

What am I actually saying?

You decide.

Rush hour

2008-11-01T14:27:00.003+08:00

Should i now talk about my work which has been occupying most of my time right now? Okay maybe i shoud just elaborate a little on it.

The first few weeks when i started work, i took the train and went out of home as early as 745. In case you guys are not sure, my work starts at 830 everyday and i will reach as early. The rush hour is very hectic, i tell you! Everyone is rushing to reach their destinations and i just don't get them. They are rushing to their workplace, rushing to go home, rushing to go for lunch. There's just no place for laid back people. Speaking of rushing, i always missed a few trains because the train will be very packed with people who are so inconsiderate. Sometimes i wonder, they are adults, educated adults we are talking about, but they can be so stupid to be standing near the door when there are enough spaces to move in. Despite being so knowledgeable and all, i still think they do not have any manners because all they do is rush, more rushing and push! There was once i was pushed by a lady and end up falling in the train. What nonsense! So, i gave up taking the train and found out that i could take a bus to reach the workplace. Now, you can say that i am very happy with the morning hours because i can leave the house at 815 and reach the workplace, a bit later.

Then, work will start as usual. It's either i have to do a major research, assists the colleagues with the work that they are not sure with, read up a thick book on market strategies. There was also once, i was given 4 different types of work and to be completed all at the same time. So, i end up not joining Naqiah and Fathin for lunch. Instead, i went down to the minimart and bought myself a packet of biscuit and rushed back to office to complete my work. So now, you can say that i am one of them too, rushing!

But.. that is if there are work to be done. What if there's none? I would rot on my desk the whole day watching videos in youtube. I even managed to watch 3 hindi movies! So yeah, that's about it. Other than that, I have to attend a few meetings where i won't utter a single word because all i have to do is, jot down whatever important things they said.

Once i knock off, i would just head home or if not, meet the cousins or friends for some chill out session. But the past few days, i've been going ome quite late because i had to do a little bit of shooting during the weekends and even after work. I'm glad the project was a success because i managed to complete the edit parts in 2 days! Yes, 2 days!

What else? Nothing else!

The only one i truly enjoy, love.

2008-10-22T20:42:00.013+08:00

Last Sunday was the best Jalan Raya, i must say. I believe i speak for the rest of the puteraPUTERI. Kan kan korang?

Unlike last year where we booked a 40 seater bus, this time round we booked the 19 seater bus. Save space, save money, save duit minyak (okay mepek), save segala galanya.

First, kita makan makan until perut kembung at the first house.

Second, Nizam became the tailong to collect the money. Tailong ni very the tak professional langsung, get a lot of money jer dah confuse of how to count and worse, how to even sort it out.

On the way and back from the this house, everyone dozed off in the bus because it was a very long journey; Boon Lay.

Fourth house, it started to rain heavily and we wasted a lil time watching the F1 on tv.

Fifth house, it rained heavier and we had our umbrella man to hold the umbrella for all os uf but end up everyone got do drenched.

Sixth house, the mee goreng got lost in the curly wurly wormy like carpet. Siti and I played treasure hunt for a while.

Seventh house, we tasted the yummiest brownie ever made by Fuzz.

(Fathin and Fifi, send me the photos!)

Eigth house, Faisal got crazy over the Nuggets and can't stop tricking everyone into looking at another place just so he could indulge into all of them.

Ninth house, we were suprise to see Iskandar's house, so BIG!

(Guys, cepat lah send!)

Tenth house, we were mesmerized by Ahmad's house! So cantik that even the guys went, "Whoaaaaa!" Just imagine a semi-detach house with a country style, pink and white decorations and so the fairytale like environment! Who won't get so excited oi?

Eleventh house, everyone looked so shagged here and we could still smile for the camera.

Twelth and thirdteenth house, everyone was so quiet for god knows what reason.. So no photos taken.

Fifthteenth house, last house, everyone, K.O.
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.....
....
...
..
.

The three - one (iskandar) camera people so lambat kape nak send the photos. Efficient la siket!! Will update more later.

Tag replies:

Look, I really think whoever is playing tricks or doing whatever they are to get at me is seriously wasting their time. I don't visit my own blog that often anymore because work has really occupy more than 10 hours of my time. Weekends can get even more busy for me thus I won't have the time to update or get upset over small little things like that. Now that I have some time before I head out to enjoy myself with some new friends, I shall just say that they are not getting anymore of my attention like they used to. Because one, i'm too busy to even think of it, second, i think they observe me way too much that i feel like they have no better things to do and three, i have people like my peterpan, Mr F and others to make fun of them like telling me they really need an operation or at least a brainwash fast before situation gets worse. I don't know who these people are but I can guarantee plus chop and the stamp that they are not my friends, cousins or whoever that are close to me. Even if they are one, I know they ae joking because we joke very harsh with each other. Then again, to whoever is behind all these, thanks for spending a lil bit of your free time to observe and leave a tag. I really appreciate you for doing this and at least make me have a good laugh before i go to bed each day. You've been such a sweetheart!

Dearest cousins and friends, i know you guys must be wondering, "is this really mizahh?". Yes guys, it's me. I've thought it through. I wouldn't let this silly things to take a lil space of my mind to let it bother me because i realise it's been hurting me real bad. I finally realise that i should just take it easy and enjoy this attention that they are giving me. I know i shouldn't have cried or even wonder why things are happening the way they were. You know, sometimes life is really weird but funny. One moment you can be the stupidest person to cry over small things like this and the next moment, you realise you enjoy this so much that you don't think it's hurting you anymore. In fact, it's adding a few more sparks to your life. I know this sounds crazy but it's the truth. C'mon, just agree with me. I wanna thank all of you for all your support and advices all these while. I'm not kidding when I say that I am totally enjoying this. I've never ever felt so much better.

shaz: eh eh. tolong aku blh? kau tgk kn asal blog aku tak boleh view profile dier smua. Aku dah try banyak kali seh edit here & there. beh still takde. tapi bile aku pki firefox boleh pulak. pening eh.
Mizahh: Shaz, work has been taking a toll of my life. It's really hard to go online these days and weekends get even hectic for me. I'll try to help you whenever I can, okay?

jaja: i miss you too! hope we can have a garhering!after your pay!ahhahahahhaa
Mizahh: Actually, my first pay is in and I've treated some of URSP. Hehe. Still, let's wait for everyone to be free before I give another major treat okay? Don't worry, i'll count everyone in. One big hug please!

First day of raya 2008

2008-10-13T22:35:00.003+08:00

2nd entry for the day and that should explain how bored I am spending time at home, on the bed.

Since everyone is like talking about Raya and still in the mood of Raya, I shall elaborate more on my first day. Speaking of which, I slept at 7 am on the Raya morning itself after editing the Raya video we made for our beloved Nenek since 1am the day before and since I couldn't attend the Prayers, I had 2 hours of sleep before being awaken up by Mr N. Ran some errands and did some last minute cleaning and touch up before dressing up to go to the Nenek's house; the first house for the day.

Sampai sini only I am very tired to type already. I'm sorry lah, i just had my medicine and that means, sleep soon! But i guess you guys know the drill kan. After Nenek's house, it will be the other relatives' places. The last house for the day would be my house la kan. Usual procedure lah kan ..

So now, let the pictures do the ~~typing~~ talking! Hehehehe..

Viral fever

2008-10-13T09:10:00.004+08:00

Time check: 9.20 am

Don't be shock. My office laptop still cannot access any other website and the reasons I can do so now is because I am at home. I was down with high fever since saturday and the next day my voice started to sound like bapok yg paling sexy, my throat started to get all itchy and body started to feel like I just got beaten up. But i was still forced to go for Raya visiting because the auntie had open house and we still had a few more houses to visit.

By the time i got home by midnight, I was already very sick that i felt like i was not even mizah. Weirdo !

Now, I am lying flat on bed, just got back from the doctor's and now typing very slowly with this laptop placed on my stomach. I have already taken the medicine and I feel so helpless, I cannot afford to do any simple tasks because I feel so weak.

I think everyone should be jealous of me because i've got 2 days mc but i'm pretty much disturbed by the doctor's comment on my heartbeat. Then again, i shall not let that bother me because I really need my rest now. I still pity my babe though cos i have been thinking how she'll cope without me during lunch. Really feel guilty for not being able to accompany her for this 2 days.

Chao sin ci! Don't miss me people! Hehe. Now can you believe it? It's already 11.20am. I took 2 hrs to get this entry ready. Super weak!

Appearance changes!

2008-10-11T00:44:00.010+08:00

I am really sorry for the lack of updates. I should seriously take some time to talk about work someday. I did try to update this space but each time i have the time to go online, i can only afford to spend time doing the necessary things and then head off to bed. The only free time I have would be friday and the weekends but provided that I do not merayap until so late after work. Because everyone is still in the raya mood, it gets a bit more difficult to update because i have to entertain the guests, not that I still go visiting anyway.

So finally, here is the moment. Chey, mcm real only. I only make a major difference to my hair once a year and this year, i decided to make it all simple. I'm a simple person now perr, no more cerewet2! Hehe..

From this super long hair which have reached my waist .. I decided to snip it off because one; the weather now very hot two; let's change the makcik2 look three; i want a new look !

From this ..

to ..
TAAADAAAAAAAAA !

Any difference? Yes? No?

Tag replies:

jaja: sedih seh tak leh blakon dgn cuz2 yng tercinta!
Mizahh: takpe2, there's always next time ja!

Naq: waahhh. bilik lawar seyy! wallpaper beli kat maner?
Mizahh: Hehehe, trime kaseh la! beli kat kedai lah, johore!

jajajajaja: post lahh!post lahhh!post lahhhhhhhhhhhh
Mizahh: Post ape sih?

shaz: OMG!!! bilik kau LAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA KE PE..
Mizahh: Chill shaz. Melampau A nyer, you!

Room makeover

2008-10-04T23:50:00.005+08:00

Given one day to paint the walls but i completed them in four hours.

Shifted the bed, the dressing table.

Dump one of the wardrobe.

Result: A whole new look for the room.

Before:

After:

Thanks for all the love that korg korg have given me today. I feel so young, happy and girlish. HAHAHA!

Galore.

2008-09-28T21:31:00.005+08:00

I think it's only fair if i put up photos in this space since it's been a while i've done that. At least, it will roughly describe the things that i have been doing so far.

Well, as you all know, i am already very busy with work nowadays. The first week at work, i had to change for a visitor pass everyday and tell me about it man, i dread it so much because i have to face the abg2 security who are very friendly but they just make me go speechless no matter how talkative i am.

Second week onwards, i got my own temporary pass and that means no more of having to go for a body scan and say 36th floor please every morning. Best of all, they have my bonyok face pasted on it. How well.

&No, i do not end by January 2009 because now, it is already confirmed that i will be extended till May. Freedom no more. Sigh.

This is the boy who has been so kind to fetch me every now and then because he knows i am very pampered and so the pemalas to walk to the mrt station and take the bus back home. Also, he knows i need to see his smile everytime.

Next, like i mentioned in my previous entry. My cousins and I are working on our project yet again. We only completed our shooting like yesterday and tell me about it man, i have only 3 days to edit! Give me more time, man!

I still think we are such wonderwoman and superman because we completed the shooting like so fast and despite having to face a lot of problems, we managed to go through it together. Now everybody say 'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww'.

Nevermind the fact that I am the shortest, I know one fact that can make me smile every moment. They love me more than they love themselves. I just know that.

Kitalah wardrobe, kitalah artist, kitalah singer, kitalah makeup artist, kitalah location director, kitalah producer, kitalah videoman/videowoman, kitalah URSP.

Despite having a very hectic schedule, i rushed down to get the necessary stuffs for the celebration while Mr F rushed home to get his bike and then fetch me to go to the planned location together. We did all that just to make our special girl's day.

Happy 6 days after birthday babe! We really hope you enjoyed the surprise we planned, mini celebration, very big cake which was more than enough for everyone, presents from us and our extravaganza card that we specially made for you. We want you to know we did that all for you with so much love.

&lastly, to sojerboy yang want to buy me the public phone as a birthday gift. I want a public phone which is touchscHreen tau! Very the high-tech gitu!

Up next:

Room makeover
Change in appearance

Come say you miss me.

2008-09-25T23:08:00.007+08:00

Gooooddddnessss, I miss this place so much. If I can, I hug until this thing become kurus keding tinggal tulang.

WORK. I get tired very easily now and give me anything to lean on, I will just sleep straightaway. I even planned to sleep on the bike with Mr F the other day but his dengki meluak luak, he rode so fast until my helmet also tercabut in the middle of the road. Terus I tak jadi tidur, you! Believe it or not – I’m already in the 2nd week and there is still no proper tasks being assigned to me. It’s kinda relaxed (too) that time moves on very slowly. Thank goodness there are kind souls like Fathin and Nizam to text me every moment and Anoi to have a chat with me during Lunch and also, Mr F to cheer me up and offer to fetch me from work almost every other day. Tell me I am lucky to have them mayn!

What else about work? Not yet at the moment.

Life has been fairly great because every single second, it gets really interesting. Even I am excited to know more about myself. *winks* then there’s little surprises from the close ones almost every day and yup, what else can I say? I am enjoying my life every single moment . Alhamdulilah.

Just like the previous year, I have to juggle my time between work at Out of the box pte ltd and training. This year, it’s the same except that the training is held more on weekends. So I don’t actually have time to breakfast with my family except for Sunday. Weekdays, I break fast in the train or in the bus while Saturdays, I breakfast outside or at the auntie’s house. Speaking of training, I believe that this year we are so behind time because there are still a few scenes yet to be done despite Ramadan being at the 25th day. Sungguh tak memberi aku a lot of time to edit and do my stuff. Sheesh!

Well, I am quite done here. Pardon me if the next update will be quite long. You can check out my twitter at the side for my daily updates because right now, that is the only medium I can update you guys with when I am at work. No, not that I can access other websites too. So far, I can also access to youtube, friendster and yahoo. So pathethic kan, siapa tak tau seh.

Now, I have got serious reading to be done. Nope, not notes from work. Just the close ones’ blog which I need serious catch up to do. I tak nak ketinggalan zaman, you! If you work in an office yang restrict most of the websites and by the time you balik you dah penat to even on the lappy, baru you tahu what I am talking about. Macam tinggal kat hutan takde internet access like that. Fuuuh, kan I whine already.

Tag replies:

anoii: gambar aku stop it!! gemokk!!

mizahh: Kater nak gemok what. You made it babe!

SimpliSiti: kau nii.. byk org pk kau from negeri laen ehh... hahhaah! da indon plak ya buk?

mizahh: Tu arh, dulu pakistan, melaka ngn doha. Skrg indon pulak. Mcm nizam ckp, aku multinational. LOL!

shaz: hello indonesian girl!! hahahaha. kekek arh kau.

mizahh: eh tkyah ketawerkan eh. hurt seh aku. haha.

hajar: kaka kiki kuku!!!

mizahh: nak dengar pantun aku?

I feel so ketinggalan zaman kape.

2008-09-19T23:52:00.011+08:00

After 5 days of not going online, here i am.

After 5 days of not reading the friends' blog, here i am.

After 5 days of trying to surf the net but failed once i reach home, here i am.

After 5 days of surviving w/o access to external webpage at work, here i am.

After 5 days of feeling so lost and outdated from the cyberworld, here i am.

Finally, I am online!

Lotsa updates to be done. I know all of you are so excited to hear my lame and boring stories yet again. Hold your horses (chey! mcm paham gitu) cos i'll do a proper update soon.

Gotta do something before the whole family gets really upset with me. Sigh.

Look out for:

Creepy story at the workplace
Moments at the workplace
Training updates with photo entry
Outdated breakfast with puteraPUTERI

Stay tuned..

When you grow up, you POPO!

2008-09-14T00:32:00.014+08:00

It felt like only yesterday we made a farewell dinner for you over at Simpang and you just had to be a bugger asking me to fetch you when you book out every week. Now, you have already POP-ed. Isn't it like so fast? Isn't it like we are catching up with time?

Last Wednesday, i dragged Hajar along with me to Pulau Tekong for Nizam's POP or according to him yg nak step cute tu, POPO (??!!). Someone was so excited because it was her first time boarding the ferry so you can imagine how her reactions were.

The actual event started around 4 but we had to reach that place around 2 plus. I tell you, waiting for the whole thing to start was so menyusahkan and i guess i was so suay on that day. I was freaking bored so i decided to join in the super slow motion songs that were played and as soon as i opened my mouth to sing, the player suddenly got stuck and only continued playing like a few moments later. That is the suay moment number 1.

And Hajar just had to rub it in saying that i am really very suay because no one wanted to sit beside me in the hall, making it look so weird because all other seats were occupied except the whole stretch those beside mine and that makes it suay moment number 2.

Now i agree i am really very suay that day.

But that doesn't stop me from being so the tak tau malu. I invited Fathin along for break fast because she just ended her lesson. Then, I made Nizam treat us to Swensens which in the end i felt guilty about it as the bill cost him almost a quarter of his pay. Oh tak eh?

Thanks so much for the food which made me even more boncit than ever. Next time treat us lagik okay? LOL!

You should rest well because now, you sound like some Atok who terbatok batok every second dok. Daymmmnnn, i'm good. Those words rhyme and i am so proud of myself.

Alahai korg buat susah je puji puji, thank you lah!

Riyyandi so sweet gituk!

2008-09-12T11:44:00.009+08:00

Major Project is officially over ! *jom gelek jom*
I won't comment on anything because it's already overr. Yeah babbbby! After this, it'll be attachment all the way till January and i'm done with Poly. Don't give me that smirk on your face cos i know you're jealous. BOO sama dia, booooo!

So to "celebrate" the closing ceremony (haha!) of Major Project, Riyyandi wanted to break fast together where we asked my cousins and one friend along.

He's so sweet or what! Told me that he's bringing something with him therefore he might be late. Skali when we meet, I saw Farin! Then Farin and I aper lagik, both of us very blur sotong and he being the most blur-est of all, didn't know that was the surprise. HAHAHA! So much for being in the camp and aku pun, so much for not wanting to entertain him anymore. But still, thanks la eh Riyyandi!

One thing about the people around me is that, no matter what they do or say, it never fails to make my day. I can be the happiest girl on earth and at the end of the day smile to myself while sleeping. REALLLLYY...

Tag replies:

anoii: tangan sape seyy tuhh....definitely not urs babe!
SimpliSiti: eh lelaki tu mcm achik spin from that angle! and sapernyer hp tuuuu?? mcm akunyer jer! lol! farin eh tu??
choco: hello...jari sape tu ehk? takkan jari kau kan
Mizahh: Eh korg stop it eh. Of course la the hand is not mine, laen seh skin colour. K not that korg observe pun. HAHAHAHA! NO NO, not farin eh. That's my ex, okay. Dah tu jer. Paham paham la who.

Naq: 3 working days? asal lama nah? i thought it shld be immediately what. go pay at sg post or something la.
Mizahh: Aku slalu pakai AXS and it takes 3 working days and skrg ni, dorg nya dengki. Still tk re-activate aku line just because aku tk bayar 9 bucks. Dorg sungguh tk kesian ngn cheapo mcm aku ni. LOL!

hajar: sorie for the last minute..eh..sorie..nari aku tkle buka ngan korg..nyai aku nk buka kat sini ah
Mizahh: Takpelah beb. At least you came on Sunday and i'm glad we had fun! Suke tak dapat big hug?

jaja: can i relink you? oleh buat kan jaja yng background ade gmbr?heh!
Mizahh: Ja, don't link kay. Background ape eh? You give me the gmbr then i make for you kays?

SojerBoy: ehh hello kwn hajar! hahahaha! kesian nye hp line kene cut off. when ur bday uh? i buy for u public phone. lagi senang. tkya pikir2 psl bill. hahahahahha!!!
Mizahh: Eh hello DIL TO PAGAL HAI! hahahhah. eh kau serious nk belikan public phone? Kat golden landmark ade jual tau! Birthday aku lagik 3 bulan jer, jgn lupe eh! Buat susah2 je.

SimpliSiti: da da. kau tk habes2 nk kacau kwn2 aku ehh sojerr... gi masuk camp sudaa! tu baru korang pakai public phone.. haha!
Mizahh: Eh kak, asal masuk camp kene pakai public phone eh? Zaman bila ni?

SojerBoy: ehh alermakk. masok camp pon blh bwk hp k. plus bill sume da byr. hahahahahaha! ni bkn time army daze. nk kene queue kalo nk pakai fone! hahahahahahahah!!
Mizahh: HAHAHAHA! Aku rase siti zaman batu ahhh. Padahal abg die nye time, masuk camp dah bole pakai hp. LOL! Kelakar la dia!

Starhub, one more chance?

2008-09-04T20:21:00.005+08:00

Wallpaper on the screen should be ignored.

My phone line has been officially cut off! This is already the second time for the year. On tuesday, the mobile servicing company cut off my line for 3 hours while i was out Iftar-ing with some new friends. I still got the connection back though maybe because they wanted to give me a few hours to make me pay them bills at the nearest AXS machine or something. But because i still refused to pay them, they barred my whole line today leaving me with no chance to reply to my friends' texts which were busily coming in.

Someone rescue me please!

It should be clear by now that I cannot do any smsing, calls or reply to any texts. This is bad because i am so going to have such a difficult time trying to locate my friends or cousins on the day we planned to meet. If i decide to stay at home, i won't be able to disturb Nizam or Farin who would probably be having their training. I can't possibly call them using the house phone because mintak kena smack with their officers only lah kan obviously. So i should change my target to Riyyandi or Anoi or anyone yang I feel like annoying. So people, wait for my calls! For now, I shall get my butt out of this house to pay the bills because i really want to continue texting others.... Tapi kan, if i were to pay pun, it will need at least 3 working days to reconnect my line back. Wahhh piang, so long gitu loh!

Can i survive that long?

Riyyandi; our joker of the day.

2008-09-03T18:44:00.001+08:00

I declare yesterday one of the funniest conference chat we've had!

Riyyandi called and he thought i was someone else. For 10 minutes, he made me convince him that i am mizahh. I added my cousin in the conversation and he ended up being more confused. According to him, our voices sounded the same so the whole time we were talking, he was confused who actually said what.

Being the crappy me, i came up with idea of saying out our name before saying anything. So it'll be like, "mizahh. did you guys fast just now?" Halfway through, we decided to be cheeky and we switched places. So Riyyandi thought i was my cousin and vice versa. That guy who dah memang naturally blur, became more blur and confused. Now let's pity him.

Later on, Riyyandi went, "Ohhhh, i know how to differentiate korg nye voices alrdy!" Then he went on, "Mizahh nye voice base siket kan?" Wah that part, we all laugh together with him who was still clueless of everything. Ni case dah mabok, padahal it was my cousin's voice. But part paling touching, when we were all about to end the call, he said, "Ehh! I saw Mizahh's baby picture tau. Cute sia dierrrr...."

If you know us well, we are two girls who can't laugh softly and we were actually containing our laugh so, we laughed until our perut developed muscle. Dah blur takpe, short term memory pulak tu. Doesn't he remember that he has told us that maaanyaaak kali wohhh.

Nurul Fathin Aida, i think we should already drop the subject alright? Don't susah susah think who were your scandals. Just focus on your beau now. Chalo bete!

Countdown to major project presentation: 6 days
Countdown to attachment: 12 days

Thank you, love.

2008-09-01T11:31:00.033+08:00

Really testing my patience and puasa, man! My burner showed attitude and i was panicking and whining to Fathin and Farin until it finally functioned!

2 hours of sleep before waking up for Sahur but only able to eat a few suap before rushing to the toilet. Wahhh, this perut like never eat pagi2 buta before. Padahal a week before, dah puasa also what! In and out of the toilet a few times. To add on to the misery, i had to submit the major project in school. Took 45 mins to reach school only to submit the work which took 5 minutes and another 45 mins back home. Torturing seh!

Abih now, received call from the supervisor saying that he need another copy of the report tomorrow. You should have stated in the report, y'know. Super cannot accept the fact, joyah!

Anyway, my weekends were awesome! Both days were spent with the loved ones and it was the best of the best! Talked, shopped, indulged, laughed until it was time for ...

I was ecstatic when told that i would be brought there, weeks ago. Tell me who wouldn't, right? At the entrance, i was shivering because i'm afraid but i'm not sure about what. We had to enter the capsule while it was moving and if you are not fast enough, you would fall and i was so ready to pull Farin down with me.

Alhamdulillah, i made it into the capsule. Sat down to calm myself down and minutes later, got so hyper. I think we were the noisiest amongst the groups of people there and by the time they announced, "You are now at the highest level, 165m above sea level. You are on top of the world.", i was proud i didn't give up before the ride!

That very moment, i was actually smiling to myself when he captured that. So i exclaimed to him, "u ...i made it kape! Now no more shivering lagik." So for 30 minutes, we were like admiring the scenery and because our ride was at night, the scenery was much nicer than during the day. We searched for our own neighbourhood and imagined what our mothers were doing. Lame.

We wanted to buy the photo they took at the booth as a momento but our smiles were so fake so we gave up that idea and headed to Town to meet some other friends.

The next day, the plan to visit the Comex show was cancelled so i continued with a lot of impromptu plans. Bumped into the boy who was also rushing to the mrt station heading to Town while we were on the way home.

No more ah ah ah eh, you!

Tag replies:

hajar: lerrr....whole of bulan ramadhan eh...aku skola...damn...
Mizahh: Starting school soon eh. Good luck!

shaz: haha. sori la org yg tak bute. haha. k arh. set pe. bwk kerete lor. tapi boleh ke? bapak fathin kasi? weekdays je lor. but must after 8 sept arh. cuz before that aku nye exam. hehs. amcm? jatuh? ajak siti skali dong.
Mizahh: Hmmh, kau ckp la ngn Fathin. Set eh? Jatuh? Ape sia jatuh? I'm lost already. Aite2, dier cnfrm bacer tag ni nyer.

SimpliSiti: kau nyer entry betol2 psl ex-colleagues and ex-boss and ex-job ehh... da mengidam nk keje kann??? sabar2.. lagi 2 minggu jerr.. btol2 kau promote eh. maklomla.. dulu scandal kau kan DUTA anyting n whatever.. exclusif u!
Mizahh: Of course, i jiwa what! Speaking of duta, who is the duta this year ehk? Any clues? Cnfm the person also exclusive. HAHAHA!

NURUL FATHN AIDA: aku baru realise mizah byk scandal di masa lalu. hahahah.
Mizahh: Wah piang, i'm hurt. What are you trying to say huh? Carik psl eh? But then, quite true la. Dorg yg nak scandal ngn aku seh. Aku cannot reject later they cannot take it susah lor.

boboy: oooiii!mane kau pegi?eh kau keje eh?watever? kuang ajak ko ketawe kan aku. aku binget seh tak bole klua...arghhh!!!pape ah nak g...
Mizahh: Yeap2, kat DBS building. Kesian kesian, nanti kiter kuar once kau dah baek okay? Peace yaw!

SimpliSiti: tu uh ! Tk mcm kauuu.. setia dgn dua kan kan kan fathin? hee.
Mizahh: HAHAHA! One word for you, re-dho!

hajar: u...ur chalet best eh? smapi berbulan2 u kat sane..u buat pe seh kat sana? dgn sape? at least i kat batam ade business..utk org GAGAP..HHAHAHAHHAHA. leh recommend tak ur chalet> bole kita ramai2..dgn lucy n bobo n nana skali..u ni ape ah...ade tmpat best2 tk blang!!! rabak!!
Mizahh: Abih u tglkan i, i duduk la kat chalet seh u. I sedih tau psl i rindu u. Dah brbulan2 tk dgr suare gagap u. Oh tak eh? U cure gagap org laen ke u cure gagap u? Nanti i blg u chalet die katne la. U ni, nk ngn i jer.

NFA - SimpliSiti: aku setia pader duer? saperrr ehhh? hahahaha.
Mizahh: Aku tau aku tau! But mcm dah basi ajer! Hahaha! Siiiaaaak!

Anything ke whatever, everything?

2008-08-29T21:48:00.008+08:00

Just two days ago, i chatted with one of my ex-colleague, catching up on each other's life and i swear was shocked to know about her new family. Like, for real?! Still, i'm really happy for her and congratulations okay, kak! Then we talked about our times in the office last year. Very sedih gitu. That's not the main point lah actually.

That same night, i received a text from another ex-colleague asking if i would like to continue with what i did a year ago but sadly, i had to decline the offer because as we all know, i'll be starting my attachment in a matter of days.

And today, the ex boss called to ask if i am willing to accept the offer and work for his company again. He even sempat nak joke around and then laugh mcm Apek bawah block, before that. Unfortunately, i had to decline it once again and i really feel bad for him. So he needed me to recommend anyone to him and get back to him by tomorrow.

Now i'm like doing a free publicity ah gitu konon.

My ex boss need people to work for Anything and Whatever during the whole month of Ramadhan. Must be committed for the whole month and must not be shy. This year is a bit different from last year as there won't be any call centres. Instead, it will be replaced by selling coupons which cost $10 each, which is to redeem one carton. $1 from the $10 will go to TAA. Working hours is 10 hours, 1 off day a weak during the weekdays. The pay, $1000, will be paid at the end of the month. The most important factor to take note is commitment!

If there are any interested parties, do not hesitate to nudge me at msn; mizahh_89@hotmail.com or call me at my cell. Thanks!

&siti, don't talk about birthday! Abg sdare aku tadi dah smangat tanya aku pasal birthday tak tau knapa. Padahal birthday aku sama day ngn birthday his wife. Lerrmakkk....Touching kape! Mcm nak kasi present aje. LOL!!

Tag replies:

boboy: betol lA ni aku...eh so sweet eh kau tulis pasal aku... awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...nanti aku belanjer kau kete k???aku bakakan utk kau...?wahaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaa.
Mizahh: Sape ckp bukan kau eh? Alaaaaamak kau, aku mmg sweet seh slalu. *PAUSE* Ahhh pantat! Aku pk ape la citer kau nak bakar.. rupernyer ... rupernye! Kurang asam kamu! Eh, aku dgr2 budak tu tak tau duduk diam kat rumah. HAHAHAHA! Kesiannn tk bole kuar. BLUEEEKKK!

SimpliSiti: da start countdown bdae nmpk kak?!! jgn luper... one mth later, aku nyer turn plak.. pastu fathin.. hahaha! da dpt keje sehh! da ader gaji so kiter sumer tkyah belikn kau presents la eh?? haha! and oh ya. eh last yr kiter keje Anything watever 15 sept jgk kan??? time puasa.. ard there..
Mizahh: Eh mesti ar, asek birthday org laen aje. Aku nye punya lah lambat. Abih dah gitu takpe, kau n fathin nya after that. Aku tunggu lama2, korg nya mcm cepat je dtg. Tak fair sehh ... Steal the limelight aje! Hehehe. Mengamok kape aku. 15 Sept jugak eh? Alaa part tu touching siao! HAHAHAHAH! Nanti aku pretend aku kerja kat Anything Whatever lagik ahh.

Speedy recovery, bocoy!

2008-08-28T23:37:00.008+08:00

Boy, i'm sorry that i couldn't pay you a visit when you were admitted last few days. I know i'm such a bad cousin. It's all your twin's fault la! She gave me the wrong info. Inadey! I already planned to chiong all the way to the other side of singapore to see you today together with our cousins but we all got so mixed up. Confee-used la beb. It's not exactly your twin's fault anyway. She make it up to me already by exchanging our foolish texts just now - i see, i saw! i know, i knew already! hahahahahahahah!

Nevertheless, i really hope you will get well soon. C'mon, i wanna receive random calls from you in the middle of the night just to hear you say, "Micahhh!!! aku kat camp tau." I wanna receive your text containing lame jokes and hear your super duper irritating loud laughter, which is most of the time very contagious, when i call you bocoy. Cos so far, you are the only cousin who get very satisfied whenever you get to tease me. Apa citer ni?

We, the united rascals, were glad that the OP went fine and hope the very best for you. We wanna see you up and running again like before! So you can play catching with us at the carpark, be the most irritating person to disturb whenever we have our video shoot and lastly, part ni touching, be Nenek's very own Bobo. HAHAHA!

Speedy recovery, cousin! =)

Tag replies:

Walkman: da keje nmpk. da keje nmpk. hehe
Mizahh: Blom blom, starting soon! Excited, nervous and everything la! Tsk tsk!

shaz: haha. k best. kau tanye fathin arh nak buke puase kat mane lor. set? aku anything la. janji mkn kenyang. tak mahal tak murah. hehs. weekdays arh. weekends ramai dong. ok go! bile kau start kerje?
Mizahh: Aite, set! Tapi kau nak die bwk kereta or what? Kau kan blanje kiter. That day ckp kalau nak suro blanje, nak suro bwk car. How how? Weekdays aku balek keje 615 sehh. Sedih kape! Eh makcik, kau tk bace ke? Penat2 aku type, aku start 15th september la. Or.... we go before aku start keje. How?

Forget it,then.

2008-08-28T00:09:00.004+08:00

After two days of cooping at home, partly because of the injury on the leg and because i have no meeting with the group members, i finally went out to meet my babe today. We didn't really have any plan in particular but it was good to see each other. We somehow enjoyed the time at the interchange admiring the items we bought online.

I received a skirt of kariza designs from Kak Nana and i love it so much! It can be used in 40 different styles and i'm so excited to try all the styles. Thanks to her, i think i'm in love with that brand. Ahhh sweet!

This week will be a very busy week. Report has to be completed by this week because the submission is next Monday. That will mark the end for Major Project but officially, it will end by early september because the last thing we need to do is presentation which will take place between 1st to 12th September depending on our slot.

After the Major Project, it will be attachment full force nyerr. Bid goodbye to freedom and say hello to long train and bus rides to and fro Marine Parade and Tanjong Pagar. I forsee myself sleeping in the train very early in the morning and sleeping while standing in the train on the way home. Oh tak eh? HAHAHA.

Ape aku bebual, aku pun tk tau. Aku need to finish my report because tomorrow, my group leader expect me to show him the full report before we do an overall review.

Tag replies:

walkman: if u noe me too well,u should noe who am i. bt wat i am sure is i noe who's tat bodysjop babe u referring 2.haha
Mizahh: Aite then. =)

shaz: bebual pasal sape? ke step kau tak kenal? lol. laki yg kau cover muke dier la tu ngan smiley face. kau ni act2 tak tau pulak. kau kerje kat dbs mane sih? raffles place? bile nak meet eh? time puase arh. mau pe? aku kn dah janji korg nak blanje makn mah. korg decide kat mane arh. ok. set? eh aku nak smua gmbr yg kiteorg ambik kat clarke quay.. hilang arh aku nye. eh LAGU MCM KENAL JE. HAHAHA. WAH. DAH TAG AKU KAT BLOG PASAL LAGU TU TERUS KAU LETAK KAT BLOG KAU EH. HAHA.
Mizahh: Oh yg tu, kawan aku la. Tkkan bf aku pulak. Keje? Bukan kat raffles place la, kat tanjong pagar. Oh jadi eh? Hmmh, kau nak weekdays ke weekend? Aku tk cerewet, org blanje ape! Gmbr clarke quay yg kau nye memory card jadi kenangan eh? LOL!! Eh chillax ah makcik, tk puas hati ngn aku pun tkyah nak capslock ape. Lagu sedap oiii!

DBS, here i come!

2008-08-26T14:31:00.007+08:00

I was still lazing in bed when i received a call early this morning. I thought the caller was just someone who got the wrong number but no, i was wrong. She was actually my lecturer who wanted to inform me that i got a job! Yes, i got a job i got a job i got a job!!!

Super excited or what. The first person i informed was Farin because he randomly text me this morning while he was about to start his training. That guy ah, also super happy for me until his text all full with exclamation marks.

So far, I don't think i need to attend any interview because she has already given me the full details. The only thing i'm required to do is to brush up on my Excel and start learning on Access. I'm fine with Excel because when i worked in Out of the box pte ltd during the fasting month last year, i helped with some admin work a bit and they did taught me a few things which i did not learn in school but when i heard Access, like what??! Who do i seek help from?

I'll be working at DBS and i will start this coming 15th September. The pay may be not as much as Nurul Fathin Aida's but I'm pretty excited and nervous all at the same time. Wish me luck and pray for me people because i really hope i'll be able to give my best performance.

So DBS, here i come!

Tag replies:

NURUL FATHIN AIDA: hehhehhehhe. thanks for de skin! aku tau kau sayang aku. kan kan kan kan? mengaku je la. aku ajak kahwin taknakkk. HAHA

anoii: takle!! mizahh nk kawin ngn aku larr!! kau scandal dier kay? oh wait! im better at being scandal....ok2 bole blaja dari aku!
Mizahh: Korg perangai stop it ehh! Jgn nak step lesbian kat sini ehh, aku masih straight okay! Kalau betol i got no jodoh with other guys, then i choose korg okay? &ape ni scandal2? No good, you know!

shaz: sape sih tu?? sape tu? haha. cey bf baru ke pe? haha
Mizahh: Kau bbl psl sape ni? Where got bf, i'm still single okayy.

Walkman: I think I know who's that body shop babe you're referring to. *Winks*
Mizahh: Really? I see. Okayy but who r u, anyway?

Bodyshop girl

2008-08-26T00:07:00.003+08:00

Due to some confusion amongst some friends, I would like to state this again. The below entry involves someone whom i've not talked to, let alone met. She's just someone i've heard the name of and that's it.

I received a call from your girl friend and the first thing she did was to introduce herself. Without hearing my response, she went on saying that i should move on. I was very furious because one; she was so rude two; who is she to tell me what i should be doing three; as if i am that stupid to not know what i should be doing. So i interrupted her "i'm not stupid who needs you to tell what i should be doing. Anyway, thanks for your concern but i've already moved on." Then she went on and on and on saying about how far i've gone beyond. Irritating or what. I brokedown listening to her words. It feels like piercing through my heart. "Damn you bitch for screwing everything!" was the last thing she said and then she hung up.

I woke up and my pillow was wet. Sheesh!

Amat confeee-used

2008-08-25T10:18:00.002+08:00

Because i am such a nice gf, i decided to pass the previous skin to Nurul Fathin Aida because the moment i hit the save icon and she saw the skin, she went "ahhhhhhhhh lawa, i want i want!" Even if i went through the hassle of going through the millions of page in the blogskin page just to get some ideas and some other animation websites to get the photos and background done, i still decided to give it as an early birthday present (haha) and make myself a new one.

C'mon tell me i'm good tell me i'm nice tell me i'm sweet.

The whole of last week has been very great! I managed to be productive by completing the skins for Elenda, HajarAnakTahir, myself, Fathin and Nizam. Not only that, i also did my final report which will complete pretty soon. I'm so excited for the completion but not at all excited for the presentation. Tsk!

The reason i'm blogging at this ungodly hour is because the cousin forced me out from my beautiful sleep with the so nice weather, just to whine to me about her wallet which she and her bf received and apparently, that wallet is missing after we got back from Johore yesterday. Alahai, something like sentimental value ah. Touching or what. Phew, that is such a long sentence.

Now that she has stop whining, i can go do something to my bandage cos it looks so disgusting after i went to bed. I should get going to search for another bandage to cover up this sungguh besar nye injury. It feels like another leg being burnt but not as bad as before. Heh!

&seriously, i don't understand the commotion in the tagboard. Sungguh tidak ada idea of what is happening, man! Siti, why so bingit like that? I changed my blogskin because Fathin nak. You are not mad at her for making me change my skin, right? Chillax la babe. Small matter aje.

Nizam, ooooooooo so long never hear from you. You're booking in today afternoon kan? Have you checked out your blog and post at least an entry? Dah ke belom? Kalau belom, you better go post one now before aku scream in your ears. Go go.

I need to search for the bandage now and by the time i'm back, i want to see an entry in your blog. Okay? K go~

you wouldn't believe it

2008-08-23T01:56:00.006+08:00

"Lu banyak bunyi lah, mat!"

I'm super pissed and worried all at the same time when my group leader forwarded me the email he received from the lecturer. Can you like believe it? Weeks ago, i heard i'll be placed in a bank and that made me feel so relieved. Abih now, how come i didn't receive the email? Cannot be my school mail got no more space that i couldn't receive it. Now the rest of them who have yet to go for any interview are going to the briefing this Monday but I have yet to receive any news for my SIP. How to graduate, tell me? Takkan i want to call the lecturer like now, pukol 1.50 in the morning kan.

Dah gitu takpe. Tgh frust menonggeng gitu, receive a call from this Apek tk menjadi. Asked so many questions until i also don't know what to answer, "Ahhh" je la kan. Not enough with that, want to lecture me about tomorrow. Nak step persuade, coax and force all at the same time. Irritating lah you. Eh i ask you, nak jadi tukang nasihat or what seh?

Because i'm too tired to listen, too frustrated with the email, too stressed with life and since everyone pun have been insisting too much, i finally said yes. Sungguh cannot take in anymore with the 'just go and have fun!'. If i really have fun tomorrow, korg jgn nak regret and make me stop eh.

On a totally different note.. BB, i've walked away from your life and your world. It was nice being a 'bitch' and having all those feelings. Now, i'm outta that bitchy life - no more being a bitch, no more feeling all stressed, no more reading and visiting that page (which i'm glad i've not done it for a month!), no more to everything. It's all about the transformed and the new mizahh, baby! :)

Peace yaw!

I made it, BB!

2008-08-22T12:43:00.010+08:00

I still can't believe i fell asleep in the midst of replying to Farin's text. It's so embarassing to receive 'sweet dreams. :)' from him. He must have thought i'm sucha lazy and weak girl.

That's why I say, I really don't get along with vigorous exercise. One main reason would be because I always get very sleepy each time i get active. So menghairankan.

Take yesterday as an example..
Even minutes after exercising, i was already very sleepy. But that didn't stop me from continuing because if i did stop, waste my money and time for booking the court aje lah oi. Besides, i dah lama tk exercise, you!

Maybe because it's been so long, i injured my wrist and now, it's swelling like nobody's business. My mother even laughed when she knew abt it. 'Tu lah, dah lama tk exercise kan.' Thanks eh!

See, see !! My eyes shows that i was very sleepy! Sungguh unbelievable man! After exercising and washing up, all of us went to Eastpoint to gain more fats, calories and machiam machiam lagik. Oh tak eh? I wanted to break fast since i was fasting and the rest pulak, they were lapar after burning some fats.

Yay, 1 more day to bayar balek puasa! Weeeehoooooo.

BB, i know you've always wanted to hear this and today, i'm proud to tell you that it's been a month! 1 month since i visited that page! Are you proud of me? I know you are. ;)

Tag reply:

Siti: farinahhh oh farinahhhhh.... hahahaha!!! and mizah, kau makin tembam la ehh... hahaha!
Mizahh: Farinahh kape ! Sungguh tidak senonoh anda. Ish, tembam? A ah sehh, aku pun perasan. Makin tembam until nak cover up aku nye eyes like that. HAHA!

Sungguh sleepy already la hor

2008-08-21T00:48:00.004+08:00

Just got back from Johore and i am a happy kid because i finally got the shoe that i wanted! Yay fathin, we can share already! Hehehe. You must be thinking how come i end up in Johore when i'm supposed to be in my last phase in the Major Project. Well, let's just say i got lucky because the group leader was kind enough to release me earlier.

There were five of us and each of them got a lot of things for themselves but not for my case. I only got the shoe that i wanted and i was smiling the whole time. Very satisfied, you know.

Earlier in the morning, i accompanined Fathin to Raffles Place where she had an interview at RBS. After the whole thing ended, i brought her to Clarke Quay where it was her first time to Central and you could say i was made her tour guide for the few hours.

We thought the bank would only get back to her like in a week's time but no, were we wrong. They got back to her like 2 hours after the actual interview! &Yes, she got the job she got the job she got the job!!!!!!! Of course i am happy and excited for her and i am sumpah so jealous of her pay because it's 4 digits la seh!
I went over to the Major Project room and told everyone about it and most of them were like asking her to give them a treat already. Keje belom start, gaji belom masok, sumer dah mintak belanje. Baek or whattt.

Tag reply:

anoii: stop it seyy gambar takde jawline aku!! stop it seyy!!!!!!!!!!!! TIDAKKKK!!!
Mizahh: HAHAHAHA! Dah mcm goldfish kape sia!!

Okay, i better go off now because there's training tmr!

Jawline mcm jaws!

2008-08-19T16:18:00.009+08:00

This two ladies are so sweet. I don't know what made them do that but I know that my birthday is four months away. You people can go visit their respective blogs to check out what they did for me. I swear i teared when i read both the entries. Babes, thanks for standing by me and i'm glad we are much stronger now. =)

Last week, we went to book the court for our training and a lot of funny events happened. Was trying to tell them a story then me and my weird reactions, we always get those two girs laughing non stop. The other one would be the " Faz?", "Fas?" "Fast?" "Slow?" together with the hand gestures to start a conversation with a stranger over on the other side of the glass. HAHAHAHHA! Super hilarious.

We got excited with the cardboard crown that we ~~stole~~ took and suddenly Anoi went, "AHHHHHH, tk nmpk jawline kape!" &the problem with us is that, we don't care if we get stares and sarcastic look from the people around us. We would just laugh our hearts out and you can hear us a few hundred metres away.

So I had to be the saviour and taught her three easy steps to achieve the jawline look. Nyehs!

1st; Loosen up your cheek muscle
2nd; Exercise the muscle a bit
3rd; smile sincerely..and there you have it, YAY!

See, the outcome! If she can do it, so can you! By just three easy steps - simple, fun but effective.

Tag replies:

Fathin: *kening turun2*
Mizahh: Cuba, tunjukkan aku siket how to kening turun2. Show me..

Hajar: eh mizahh!! nick kau mimi..anoi nye lucy..aku nye ape ahh? tuti ke titi?
Mizahh: Hmmmhh, Mek Siti? Oh bukan eh? Titi la, takkan tuti plakk. Mane dpt eh tuti tu. Haha.

ANOII: niraf!!!!! hazim rekus niraf!
Mizahh: Eh bedek seh, i have never ever declare that! Tipu seh. But but but, i won't deny ah. LOL! As a friend, that is... Jgn pk laen eh!

Cloud nine

2008-08-17T17:05:00.010+08:00

For whatever reasons which I'm not sure of, I'm so excited to blog! :) Too excited that i don't know how elated i am. Too elated to express this feelings.

The close ones know that i've been cooping myself too much these days. Have been rejecting and declining every single invitation except with the loved ones. Like what they said, "not ready to face the world."

A very big thank you to Nizam for the never ending messages reminding me to stay strong and checking if i'm alright. My never ending thank you to Anoi for making the rest understand my decision as i couldn't concentrate on my work and won't be able to participate in the competition. &to the rest of them like Shair, Aizat, Lina, Fathin, Iffah, HajarAnakTahir and a lot more... thank you so much for your concern!

After clearing all my sorrows and attending to all the craps i've been having, i finally went out to face the world! I'm so glad i did because it was great and i won't regret facing the world.

Thanks for the sweetest and memorable day, baby!

And today on msn...
prettyU G L Y says:
eh kau tau....

you left me breathless says:
ape???

prettyU G L Y says:
kc makcik aku nye anak sehh

prettyU G L Y says:
in other words, die abg sdare aku!

you left me breathless says:
kc??

you left me breathless says:
deejay yg adiksdare dier cute tuh??ape eh name adiksdare dier....rahi....rahimah something arh.
-------
That's only part of the conversation. The rest make me laugh non stop until my stomach also lapar. Hahs. Was talking about some artists and how we are related then i also want to step perangai mintak sepak kat dahi ahhh. I bet she laugh kuat giler depan comp because i was practically laughing in front of this screen for a solid 2 minutes!

Tag replies:

Jaja: i tried going to the old blog!but cant!hahahha.
Mizahh: Yeahh, i changed url la but i'm amazed you made it here. hehehehe.

Nizam: Hey, jgn sedih2 ah.. I guess they just don't undstd what you're gg thru. I know tt you're the nicest and the one tt always keep them gg strong. I know tt you're gg thru a rough time like i did before. Like i've said to you, if you need a listening ear. I'll be here.. So just cheer up and carry on with what you have to do. =) Aper ni.. sejak bila kau suck ah?? Kau kan the 3H's.. Hahahaha..

Mizahh: Sometimes, i can't help but to wonder why i care so much when they don't even bother at all. I'll just give them the time to think aite. You know, i'm thankful that i have a friend like you. I'm glad i did talk to you abt this that day because i felt so much better and thank you for everything alright. I appreciate it a lot and i want you to know that i'll always be here for you too. BUT! Not when you're trying to run away from her and tell her that "she's my new gf!" &u don't have to spread the 3H's thing. Sungguh embarrasing. LOL!

anoii: pandai nye abg nizam bbual......*kening naik2.*

mizahh: Dah dah, kaypo kaypo! Kening naek2 tk perlu ehh. Mataer aku matrep okay!

Tell me how am i supposed to survive

2008-08-14T22:10:00.003+08:00

When they were upset, i refrain from mentioning anything about my sad sad story.
When they were upset, i accompanied them.
When they were upset, i refused to be sad.
When they were upset, i tried to cheer them up.
When they were upset, i listened to their stories.
When they were upset, i plan an outing just to make their day.
When they were upset, i gave them the motivation to move on.
When they were upset, i gave them the support that they need.
When they were upset, i gave them the strength thay they need.
When they were upset, i would be sad too even when i am feeling so happy.
When they were upset, i get excited for them each time they wanna do something sweet.
When they were upset, i reminded myself to smile widely even when i was at my lowest.
When they were upset, i tried to cheer them up even when i was feeling just the same.
When they were upset, i feel i'm obliged to be there for them, making them happy and make sure everything will be fine.

It has always been me.
Me, who tried to be the nicest girlfriend anyone could ever ask for.
Me, who tried every single force to cheer them up and be their strength to move on.
Always me.
Now that i'm going through that phase, how come there's no one to hold me through?
I'm not asking for something in return but just for them to understand the situation i'm in. Is it too much of a favour?

This may sound ridiculous but I've been too strong for them.
I didn't show how much i'm suffering deep inside.
I didn't show how hard it was for me to move on.
I didn't show how hard it was for me to put on a smile even a fake one.
I didn't show how hard it was for me to keep a strong front for them.
Haven't i done enough?

What were you thinking? What made you think that I was just fine? What made you think that I am very happy, very content with what I have? What made you think all that you are thinking? Don't you even feel for me?

To think that we've been very close all these while.

Bb, where are you? At this point where i need you the most, where are you? Where are you when you said you will be there for me no matter what our rship now is? Where are you when you said we could be close no matter what happened between us? Where are you?? Where are you??

It's just one dissapointment after another. Where do i go now?