From the bottom of my heart

Boy (you know who you are), I don't know how to make you understand what exactly is going on. I know it's over between us and I really thank god for all the things that he has shown me. I really wish that you will change cos trust me, you have hurt a lot of people by what you have done and said. So what if what I told you just now was true? It doesn't mean anything now cos I'm trying to get over all that.


Moving on, I know I am not in the picture but I just have to say this. Whatever that happened between you and me a few months ago was just plain mistake. I know everyone still blames me for all the shits I have caused but let me say my piece.


I have had this feelings for you since eons ago and when you came, I was really excited + happy + shocked. Later, I found out about your relationship and I took one step back cos i know how it feels to be like in her situation. No matter how far I tried to push you, you kept coming back and convinced me that your relationship had been rocky for long. So I trust you and waited for your next move. I was kinda upset and dissapointed when I knew about therelationship which came to an end. I know everyone blamed me for destroying all that. I swear, I had no intention to do that at all cos I have been in that situation multiple times. Truth is, I was blurred by the words you said. Feka, I know i should have listened to you when u said i don't know him just yet. I should have listened to you. I really should .. You don't know how much I am regreting it each time I think of it.


As the days goes by, I got blinded more by your words and i didn't know how stupid I could get by believing every words you said. After all major things that happened, I finally gathered all my courage to put everything to an end so that i won't get hurt any further. Frankly, i was hurt for the whole 2 months of our relationship. Hurt most the time .. Hurt and more hurt.


I know I am no one to nag or advice you but I would want to put a stop to whatever you are doing. I mean, I do get hurt to the things that you did to both me and her. I want you to stop being selfish! I know we are just friends now but I know how much you love that girl. But then, loving someone means you can't hurt her. Do you even realise how many times you have hurt us? I beg you to, please please please, think wisely before reacting. Other than that, I leave it all to you to decide for yourself cos I am a human too who makes mistakes. I believe consulting the people around you for the best choice will do you good. Besides, like what I told you earlier, life does not evolve only on relationship. It's about how you make your life meaningful.


Feka, I know I have said this a lot of times and I would like to say it again. I am really really sorry for all the things I have caused you. From the first time till now, I really mean it when I say this. I really hope we could be friends like normal friends do. Cos I don't want us to be friends based on that silly incident. I know it's very difficult for you to accept what I've done and nothing I do could make you understand my situation but I hope you will understand it, one day.