M.F.B.M., i miss you so.

Sometimes you feel like going with the flow but something tells you that you need to be firm. Sometimes you feel like making a firm decision but going against nature is very challenging. Sometimes you don't know which is which. After all that has happenend, haven't i just gone through enough? I rarely say this but 2008 has been testing my patience since the start of the year. Now tell me where did I go wrong?

The one who abandoned me for my best friend back then

I don't know what made you come back but it was rather hard to accept you initially. I don't get it when you turn to be so posessive towards me and not allowing me to do this and that. If you say i'm showing you some kind of attitude, then you might be right but it's only because you are showing me one too. I really hope that it's just a matter of time that you realise what you've done to hurt me in the past has been nothing but just my past and i'm not at all taking a revenge. Stop behaving that way because i'm disgusted with it.

The one who has been patiently waiting for years

I know i've been very ignorant these few years and have yet to give you a definite answer for it. I'm afraid that further steps will destroy our friendship. I'm grateful that you are the one who have been there for me, rushing to be by my side and seeing me in my worst condition and laughing along with me while i am at my most active mode cos i seldom do that to anyone else.

The one who is considered bad and sweet all at the same time

They say you're equally bad, they say you're insincere but i know i shouldn't listen to them at all. The moment you sent me that text message, i know it already means something. I wasn't trying to play ignorant yet again but i just didn't know how to react to it. Maybe it's too early to speak but i am sure of what i have in mind. You can still go around flagging the taxi for me and being so sweet that even my cousin can jump up and down for a few minutes in front of her bf while exclaiming, "how sweet!!" but let's bear this in our mind, friends forever okay?

The one who thought i was insincere

I know we've been friends for 9 months and i know i've not been a good friend since day one. Still, i do appreciate our friendship. Just give me time to gather all the courage and i'll be more than happy to face you. For now, break missed calls are and random texts are fine with me.

The one who thought i am not serious

When you started a conversation with me late last month, i was rather uninterested because of the way you approached me. Now that we've started it all over again, it feels great to at least know you. It's weird to know that you're such a psychic to know everything about the things i'm going through but it feels kinda relieved to hear your advices. I'm sorry that i don't seem serious abt our friendship but i'm just so confused right now.

It sucks.