I`m sorry for what i`ve caused you.

From the bottom of my heart.

I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry.I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry.I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry.I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry.I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry.I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry.I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry.I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry.I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry.I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry.I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry.I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry.I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry.I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry.I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry. I`m s0rry.

I`m truly s0rry.

Now and again, i`m writing this entry just to make things clear. I kn0w i`ve hurt y0u umpteen times. This time, y0u gave up and ch0se to walk away.

What y0u said was true. Y0u said i d0n`t have trust in y0u and i d0n`t respect y0u and also our friendship. I`m aware of ur feelings and what u`re going through. U`re hurt because even since last 2 years, everyone around us and including me, are finding fault in y0u. Whatever y0u do is always wr0ng. But that`s not what is happening here.

I`ve tried putting myself in y0ur shoes. I admit i will be hurt when others misunderst0od me in everything i`m doing. I w0uld feel that ever0ne is against me. I understand all that. But..have u put urself in my shoes? I`ve been treated badly by most of the guys and that made me realise that i`ve to do something to stop it. I decided to be mean by asking the guys who starts to contact me back out of the blue the question that i asked y0u yesterday. I kn0w i was a bit harsh but i just wanted to kn0w the truth. Nothing but the truth.

Okay, let me give y0u an example or rather, explain it further. I`ve got a fren who never fails to msg me every other night. Somehow, by the way he msg me, i can sense that he`s just trying to make use of me. I forced the truth out of him. I know i was mean. I shouldn`t have done that. I`m sorry but all i want was the truth. I don`t mind if the truth was something that might hurt me. Even if it hurts, i`ll still entertain him but not when he keeps his real motive under his sleeve. So when i forced out the real truth from him, he admit that he was just bored and wanted someone to cheer him up. There. It hurts me cos he`s sorta using me. He`s just selfish but i still entertain him, anyway. That`s because i`ve already know the truth from him.

The same goes for you. I did ask y0u the same question that i asked him but y0u thought i didn`t trust y0u. Please, it`s not bout trust. I put my trust in everyone and that is why i`m in this situation now; confused. I just wish for y0u to tell me the real truth and if there`s none, i`m happy then.

I kn0w i`ve said a lot of things which some does not even change. It`s not bout my attitude, y0u see. It`s bout how people treat me. You, yourself said that i shouldn`t let anyone step on my head, anymore. And i`m doing it now. Maybe in a wrong way, that is. I just need y0u to show me the correct way, then. Pleasee....

I wouldn`t want to lose another fren just bcos of this. I know you`ve heard enough but all i wish for is for us to stay as frens and stop all the misunderstanding.

I`m aware that both of us are sick and tired of all this.

I`m aware that y0u are hurt because no one trusts y0u.

I`m aware that y0u are tired of explaining things to me for the sake of everyone's good.

I`m aware of all that.

I`m trying my best to help you and me to be in a better state.

Please, just trust me.

I`ll wait for y0ur answer.

I hope it`s a good one.

=)

I`m sorry for everything that i`ve caused you.

Y0ur ever irritating fren,

Ramizah ♥