Dissapointed

Others always say I think too much.
Some say i'm pessimistic.
While the rest think that i should loosen up a bit.
ME? I think that experiences and past events that made me the way i am now.
Yes, i think a lot.
I'm sometimes pessimistic and i know i should loosen up a bit.
I even know i should be more hyperactive and cheerful than i used to be.

The other day i talked to someone whom i've treated as my elder sister. Not only is she full of words of wisdom, the fact that she understands me most of the time make me feel so lucky to have someone like her. Of course, i do have my cousins to share every single stories and sorrows that i'm going through but then, i believe that i should not burden them too much cos they themselves have their own set of problems. After talking to her although for a short while, i believe she made me see things in a better perspective.

Boy, i'm glad that we do contact each other back after some time of me MIA-ing. Now that you know the reasons for it, i guess i'm happy with it. I think we are much happier now, don't you think so? Well, we are forever laughing at our own mistakes, reminding each other of things that we should be doing, cheering up one another and many more which we didn't really do back then. I finally understand what they meant when they say, "it's better this way than that." Right now, i would really agree to it.

Then again, you never change. Even if you did, you become so much worse. So worse that i am unable to describe it in words now (maybe, with my ever so banyyyakk expressions? lol.) For whatever that you have done, it has and (still) hurt me real bad but i know, time will heal every single cut and wounds that you've caused me. I don't know how long time will take but i'm sure it's worth the wait. It won't be long till you see me standing up and running again.

Just so you know that what you're up to right now isn't worth working on cos you know it will hurt not only me but also the people around you. Yeah, i know you keep saying that they are the ones who keep hurting you but look at the different angle. I think the only one to be blamed is you. Just you. You made that decision so you gotta bear the consequences dude.

Now that i'm trying my best to stand up with the help of someone *winks*, i hope i can really make myself proud cos i guess I HAVE BEEN THE STRONG GIRL THAT I WANT AND EVERYONE ELSE NEED ME TO. So people, a round of applause for me? Hehehe!

On a totally different note, i really wish all the best to you girl. You've been such a letdown, promises after promises but you still wouldn't change to be the way you should. You know it's not healthy to be living this way and it's so dangerous to be doing that cos at the end of the day, you'll be hurting yourslf the most but you are just so degil gilerrrrrrr to be nice to yourself. Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Nowwwwwwwwwww, you better call me cos i know you're having your break.

P.s: I love you, b!