1st year anniversary! LOL.

Last year, on this very day..

I received the most shocking news.

A well kn0wn but an unexpected one.

At that point of time, i cried as if there was no tomorrow.

I cried as if i had no one in my life.

I cried till my tears could fill up 5 pails, maybe?

Since that day, i became very weak.

Mentally and physically.

I couldn't focus on my O levels.

Yes, i was having my o levels and the major papers were not over yet.

I didn't had the strength to do my normal routine.

I just thought that was the end of my road.

Of course, at that point of time, i realised who my true frens were.

Fianlly, i know they were khaii, siti hajar and nurul fathin aida. (in random order)

Khaii was there to provide me with all the motivating words and those 'at home' sms.

In case you don't know, my family didn't care much bout me during those times.

So, he was there to accompany me when i'm at home.

Then, there was siti hajar.

She was the one who spent most of her time with me.

She accompanied me when i felt like going out.

N, i mean it.

She even asked me to tag along when she was out with her date.

No, seriously.

Imagine how shagged and weak i was.

Another kind soul was nurul fathin aida.

She was the listening ear and dang! she even critic me.

However, i know all that was to make me realise how far i've went to the wrong side of the road.

After the major exam, i had almost 4 months break.

I went a very pathethic life.

I cried almost every time.

I cried when i'm bathing.

I cried when i'm alone.

I cried being scolded by others.

I cried going back home.

Easy said, i was very sensitive.

Then, there was the auntie and the family.

They let me stay with them for the whole of that 4 months.

Somehow, they could feel the problems that i was going through.

Therefore, i thank them for that.

During that period of time till now, the frens tried..

They wanted me to have "another" life.

They introduced mat siput babi - who was very perfect for me but then, something cropped up.

hisyam - lina's work fren.

Khairul - Rizal's fren.

Nick Fikri - that special someone whom i got to know at work.

Helmi - who was sweet but too old.

Imran- yat's fren.

Within that 4 months, i worked as a sales assistant and had to face a lot of customers.
Very mean customers..
Very demanding customers.
Very fussy customer.
You name it.
I still remember, i cried while serving to the customer.
But when asked the reason, i just showed my fake smile.
I couldn't help it.

To cut it short, i was an idiot for letting my heart taking over my brain and soul.

I was stupid to bring myself down to that extreme.

You were wrong, little boy.

You were wrong in choosing the time to break the news.

Why did you choose when i was having my o levels?

So as not to see me get good grades?

Hell no, you were wronng.

I got good grades and i entered poly life with much ease.

Oh! So much for wanting to concentrate on ur studies, silat and friends.

Yea, as if.

Today, i still couldn't stop thinking bout what happened.

No, not thinking bout u, little boy.

I finally realise ur bad points, ur weaknesses that i couldn't accept.

Even so, i still am confused on why you changed.

What happened to that pampered boy?

What happened to that mommy's boy?

What happened to that boy who cries if he hurt others?

DANG!

I shouldn't be thinking anymore.

I shouldn't be cracking my brain anymore.

There you go.

My today in history.

Enough! Enough! Enough!

P.S: You won't know what and how i went through unless u be RAMIZAH.

[edit]Now i wish myself a happy first year anniversary. LOL.[/edit]