How to?

Still breathing. Still surviving.

Too many things in mind. Too much time spent on working. So little time alone. Too much responsibilities.

How to survive?

But at least i'm happy that even our own boySTAR remembers December. LOLS!

Perhaps another secret letter?

I miss the guy who knows a lot about me.
I miss the guy who shares everything with me.
I miss the guy who would go the extra extra mile just so it could be a little special everyday.
I miss the guy who would secretly smile at me in Flavours.
I miss the guy who I would coincidently bump into whenever I am in school.
I miss the guy who made everything seemed so easy.
Gosh, I shouldn't be thinking about it. At all.
I miss Muhd Faizal...

How come things change so fast? I don't know your sudden dissapearance or like you always said, "gone with the wind to save the day.." but I know, you have your own reasons to do so. I am pretty sure you are doing it for my sake. Still, I don't blame you for avoiding because I know you always handle us the best.

Wherever you are, I pray that you will be fine and everything goes on well for you. Thanks a million for all the memories because you've taught me all about patience, perseverance and determination.

Close to your heart

This is my attempt to make a personal comeback. Apparently, Nizam complained that my entries now are all about work. What to do kan, my world revolves around kerja only what now. Anyway, let me get this whole entry started.

I just realise that life is so unpredictable. Whatever you decide or plan, it doesn't really happen the way you want it to be. Don't you think so? Most of the time you won't be able to see the reason for it to happen that way but sooner or later, you will realise how Allah has planned it for you.

“I know you probably wanna know why I love you.”
“No, am not asking.”
“Oh c’mon. I know you do.”
“Errrrrrrr?”
“I love you because of your nose, your mouth, your eyes, your big stomach, your hands, your fingers, your body, your smile. I love all about you. I love you.”
“oooookay. Then what if I lose all that in an accident ke or if something bad happen?”
“That’s what I am trying to tell you! Love should not be followed by a reason. Love comes just like that and the first time I see you, I like you. The first time you open your talkative mouth, I fell in love. I don’t know what it was with you but it just felt right. So you see, it just happened.”
“Thanks for the sweet talk.”
“Hahahahahaha! You're most welcome, sweet talker’s lover. Someone’s blushing, no need to use blusher.”
“Pfffffffft!”

Peterpan, I know I’ve been such a spoil brat. I spout nonsense whenever I am sleepy, I vent my anger on your arms whenever the crews are not performing up to the standard I have set and I keep making you do things which are totally out of your way. I wanna thank you for tolerating me and not being mad or upset about it at all. I really appreciate it so much. You know how I am so pathetically different from them but I want you to know that I am willing to do anything for you as well.

Sometimes i wonder why do we even got close to someone and know them so well but only to end up being so awkward towards each other..

Am I making any sense?

What am I actually saying?

You decide.

Rush hour

Should i now talk about my work which has been occupying most of my time right now? Okay maybe i shoud just elaborate a little on it.

The first few weeks when i started work, i took the train and went out of home as early as 745. In case you guys are not sure, my work starts at 830 everyday and i will reach as early. The rush hour is very hectic, i tell you! Everyone is rushing to reach their destinations and i just don't get them. They are rushing to their workplace, rushing to go home, rushing to go for lunch. There's just no place for laid back people. Speaking of rushing, i always missed a few trains because the train will be very packed with people who are so inconsiderate. Sometimes i wonder, they are adults, educated adults we are talking about, but they can be so stupid to be standing near the door when there are enough spaces to move in. Despite being so knowledgeable and all, i still think they do not have any manners because all they do is rush, more rushing and push! There was once i was pushed by a lady and end up falling in the train. What nonsense! So, i gave up taking the train and found out that i could take a bus to reach the workplace. Now, you can say that i am very happy with the morning hours because i can leave the house at 815 and reach the workplace, a bit later.

Then, work will start as usual. It's either i have to do a major research, assists the colleagues with the work that they are not sure with, read up a thick book on market strategies. There was also once, i was given 4 different types of work and to be completed all at the same time. So, i end up not joining Naqiah and Fathin for lunch. Instead, i went down to the minimart and bought myself a packet of biscuit and rushed back to office to complete my work. So now, you can say that i am one of them too, rushing!

But.. that is if there are work to be done. What if there's none? I would rot on my desk the whole day watching videos in youtube. I even managed to watch 3 hindi movies! So yeah, that's about it. Other than that, I have to attend a few meetings where i won't utter a single word because all i have to do is, jot down whatever important things they said.

Once i knock off, i would just head home or if not, meet the cousins or friends for some chill out session. But the past few days, i've been going ome quite late because i had to do a little bit of shooting during the weekends and even after work. I'm glad the project was a success because i managed to complete the edit parts in 2 days! Yes, 2 days!

What else? Nothing else!