Bloody poser

There's no word to describe this feeling now.

Hate might be a strong word. But yes, that's the nearest possible word for you.

Just stop whatever you are doing, bloody poser.

Ape, abang ***** eh?

Pergi jahanam sudah.

I've never hated someone this much sia and congratulations, you are the first person.

The last lap

2 more to go.

Love isn't just about being together

Three people who open up to me to talk about their heartbreak .... How about me? Will you ever listen to my heart?

As quoted: "menyintai seseorang itu sudah cukup bahagia untuk diriku.."

Day and night

I am counting the days left. Miss cannot describe the absence feeling I have for you.

15th day without Niraf

...more days left

To my babes...

Three different girls with three different personalities. Three different girls with three different stories of three different situations. I know they are probably at their lowest point of their life right now. It's really difficult having to juggle with the problems and daily life - problems that came unexpectedly and cannot be shoved away definitely. At this point of time, I wish I could do something to change the situation they are in.

Even if I am not directly affected, I am very upset for them. I know I am no one to actually say that I feel for them because I am not in their shoes but trust me, when I say I understand how they are feeling. I get the whole picture.

Nonetheless, I want you babes to know that I am always here to listen to all your whines and sighs okay? I will always be here to provide even the littlest help to lift the burden off. Just don't let this obstacle to let yourself down and please, brace yourself.

To my lovely babes - Nurul Fathin Aida, Siti Hajar and Rara, I know you babes will be strong in going through this phase of life. It's not the end.

I'm sorry for the times you felt that you were alone. I'm sorry for the times you thought I forgot about you. You must know you can always count on me.

Hugs and kisses,
Mizahh

a moment of happiness

It's been the same routine everyday. Either I'm out with his or my friends or I'm sitting at home in front of the laptop. 10 days gone and I have exactly 14 more days to hang on. I guess I was lucky to receive an email from him the first week he was away. It's really amazing how email can assure that things are fine on the other side. I guess I was even luckier to receive a call all the way from Taiwan on his 9th day there. I was laughing, smiling and crying all at the same time. Tears of joy, they say. So warm and dot dot dot. We managed to have our few minutes of minah and mat joke and asking about each other's condition before assuring that a solid discussion is needed when he gets back here. A few minutes before he hung up, I managed to put his friends in conference with us and boy were they so excited.

At least that could keep me smiling for a week.

Of 8 days without Niraf

Last weekeknd without Niraf was totally a mess. It was the first time when I couldn't depend on him to plan it all for me for a fantastic weekend. It was a time for me to get myself up on my own feet and plan it all over again just like before. Not so bad with all the impromptu plans.

Just yesterday, had another mini meetup with the usuals - Hajar, Rudy and Zur. We chilled at the new shopping centre over at Bugis and did a lot of catching up with each other. Somehow, it feels good to be meeting them and talking a little bit about our silly past.

It was also a time for me to complain to Zur who I assumed was good in repairing the function in my phone or at least he could give me an assuring explanation of what is wrong with that phone. There's Rudy who claims he knows it all and at the end of it, did nothing to solve the problem.

.. where we had Rudy to be the girl and myself to actually pose like the guy. I was supposed to pose the way Rudy always poses but I don't know how I ended up like I wanted to cover up my mouth.

If you visit the new shopping centre, you will find the longest escalator which Rudy claimed to be the longest escalator in the world. I chose to think that it was the longest escalator he has ever seen. It will take you a minute and 20 seconds to actually reach the fourth level (?!) from the first level.



It was all good. At least it kept me going. Iffah Fathin and Nizam, you guys should be there.

P.S: Beb, i receive your email and i've replied to it! I'm sorry I didn't manage to answer your call.

Stop it, will you?

JUST STOP IT!

I've been silent for three bloody months! The least that all of you can do is stop asking me if I have managed to find a decent job or even worst, if I have started looking for one. It is really very frustrating to have someone to ask those questions and in the middle of that unacceptable conversation, assure me that they truly understand the economic downturn that everyone is facing.

If you truly understand, you wouldn't add salt to the wound. You wouldn't make me worry more. You wouldn't let me have this whole feeling inside me. Because you just don't. Obviously.

Mother has been the most understanding person ever apart from Niraf. She knows I have been trying very much not to spend. She knows I don't spend unecessarily when I am out. Niraf is also there to assist me a lot with the amount of money I spent. He has really helped alot. I'm thankful that I at least have these two person with me who truly understand it all.

The rest of you, stop those questions.

Of 2 days without Niraf

I have been reading up on Taiwan quite a bit to find out the culture, weather and living environment. If I read correctly, Taiwan's local time is the same as Singapore's local time which means it's exactly 12 noon now. Niraf must be having his lunch right now, I hope.

Surprisingly, he sent me a text message yesterday night to let me know of the things that has happened overnight. I didn't expect to receive the message from him so soon because I was already informed that he will be very busy with outfield training. He did send his regards to all of you. According to him, it has been freezing cold and he is very much trying to adapt to the weather and environment.

That is, of course, a good sign. We will never fail to pray for you, okay? I won't expect another news from you that soon but you know I will always have my phone with me in case you leave another text message. =)

Sending Niraf off to Taiwan

Just yesterday, I spent a few hours at the airport being with Niraf before he left. At 1am yesterday, I reached home with his sweater and photos / videos captured in my camera. Like he mentioned, it was really difficult to be miles apart and being uncontactable for an exact of 24 days. I am glad I managed to give him a mini surprise at his doorstep the afternoon itself after making a huge prank on him. His flight to Taiwan was at 0140 and we were already at the airport at 1030.

We had Nizam for company since both of them already knew each other where we had our quick supper before he left for another briefing. Thank you so much to Nizam for spending the time with us.

I packed him the necessities, a box of uniquely wrapped Toblerones and a card to assure him that everything here will be just the same when he comes back. The most difficult and dramatic part of the night was to see him walk to me and say that he's checking in. What else could I do? Cry.