I need the attention too.

I want to apologise to elenda, aini, elenda and uyanga for showing some kind of attitude in CMSY tut just now. Out of a sudden, i felt some pressure being pushed on me. I merely passed the quiz by one mark. I know i should be thankful cos i don't understand a single things of that subject. I felt i need to really start studying cos the term test are starting next week.

I realised something. I have loads of things to share with bebeh and sayang but the words that each time i try to tell them, the words that come out from my mouth always go wrong. As in, they get the other meaning. I find it hard for them to understand and so, i don't know if i should continue with my story. I really need someone to listen to my probs. I need that guy, that mangkok guy to listen to my boring stuffs and never ending problems but too bad, he's busy with his gf now and yeah, he's studying for O's. Anyway, i found someone to talked to. He listens and understands what i'm trying to say but..i don't think he really understand the whole picture as he only knew me for 1 mth+.

I guess bebeh and sayang are really busy with their own lives now. They are facing some problems and of course, i need to help them. However, come to think of it, i also need them to give me the attention. I realised something. Whenever i want to start talking bout my stuff, there is sure something that will happen and so, i have to help them think of a solution. You don't get what i'm trying to say right? Nvm.

Anyways, i received some photos of the party from kak ijan. So sweet of her to send it to me. Thanks ehh!

Having fun at the bouncing playground.

Excuse the kentalan face.

P.S: Bebeh and sayang! Don't get me wrong kay. It's not that i don't wan to tell u straight in the face but i'm afraid u might yell at me and find me irritating. I didn't mean to publish it here but.. i just want you to know what i'm feeling. That's all. =( OH! I'm sorry too if i'm always bothering you.

Birthday party for the princess

AHH.. I feel so fresh after taking a quick bath. Heh. Yeah, we celebrated mira's birthday. Her birthday was a week ago but we celebrated it only today.

One word: Fantasy.

The pary was held at the mutli purpose hall next to kak sita's block. There were balloons, not the normal balloons eh. It's the helium ones and there was the bouncy playground. Of course, since mira loves princess, there was princess photos everywhere. Even the cakes.

I slept over at kak sita's house the day before as she wanted me to help her prepare for the games. The prizes are all worth winning sehh but too bad, i can't play cos i know all the answers. Haha.

The makciks2 and pakciks2 were super sporting today. They were playing all sorts of games even those which were meant for the kids. Hehs.

Pictures wil be uploaded soon. Real soon.

The day of 'mixed feelings'

HAHAH. Guess what? I fell in the toilet! Aku terjatuh dlm tandas! Believe it or not? Ahh. You've got to believe it. I was fightiing with bapak to go to the toilet and then, i fell while holding the toilet's door. I had mixed feelings, crying and laughing at the same time. I cried bcos my my leg was in pain and i laughed bcos i was clumsy. Hahs.

Speaking of mixed feelings, i have quite a few of mixed feelings today. Early in the morning, i was in the bus and as usual, listening to songs in my MP4. Out of a sudden, i cried bcos i remembered a friend. I was angry cos things turned out this way and i was sad cos i know i was in the wrong.

During lesson, i didn't know whom i should sit and talk with. The girls thought that i've much more closer to the guys and they think that i'm snatching all the guys away. I know it's all crap. On the other hand, that guy don't want me to be too close to the girls. I was angry bcos i don't have a choice and it's as if i'm in the wrond cos i'm close to both genders. I was sad too cos i'm always being ordered and told what to do. Another mixed feelings.

I was in BPM lab with eugene, victor, wei bao, john, kok lip, tai miao and beng yan. Eugene asked me to msg bebeh to ask where her class was. I msged and left my hp on the table while i did my SYSA project. When bebeh replied, eugene snatched my hp and didn't wanna return it. He even replied bebeh's msg. I tried snatching the phone back from him but he's a guy seh.. too strong to fight back. I didn't bother to entertain him so i continued doing my project. Eugene replied all bebeh's msged after that. I was mad bcos i can't have my phone back and i felt that i was stupid cos i left it on the table.

On the way home, i looked at the sent items in my hp and saw the msges that eugene sent bebeh. I was super duper mad at him for sending all those kind of msges. I felt like i wanted to strangle him if he was there. Too bad, he just left to take another bus. I msged bebeh to say sorry and she didn't replied. Somehow, i felt she was mad at me. And yeah, she sounded mad. Real mad. When i read her msg, i felt as if i had no dignity. HAHAHA. What has it got to do with dignity ehh? Alah, no point explaining.

See, all the way, from morning till afternoon, i had mixed feelings. That was why i called it a mixed feelings day.

Tmr, thw whole sch are having CCN Day. My class are selling ice lollies, brownies, cookies and many more. DO COME EHH! OUTSIDERS ARE WELCOMED TO!! SUPPORT MY CLASS. Hahs.

P.S.: EUGENE! THANKS FOR LENDING ME A LISTENING EAR. I KNOW YOU WERE SHOCK TO HEAR MY STORY AND THANKS FOR OFFERING THE HELP! Don't worry, i'm gonna be okay.

I'm trying..to improve LAH!

SO! I'm done with the survey presentation and of course, grace yap has a lot of things to comment. Being the first group to present, of course we have a lot of mistakes. Luckily, the powerpoint was done quite well. Thanks to me. Hahs. I had to read a scene and acted as Sarah. As usual, there's eugene and jarrett to disturb me. While i was reading, they kept calling out for me. Of course, i can't stop laughing.

After survey presentation, there was a skit to be done for BPM. I acted as managing director and that's cool kan? Hehs. Kee heng is leaving our class and there's that vincent, my APEL teacher, taking over him. I don't like him as he talks a lot of rubbish. No one listens to what he says during APEL. I doubt my classmates will understand what he will teach us for BPM. Damn! He always say, "One minute late for class means lose one million dollars." WTH. I just don't like the way he talk! Anyways, kee heng is going over to bebeh's class. He almost cried when he told us that. "Actually, i'm already very comfortable with you guys but i need to get to know the other class." AHH!!

After school, went to canteen with Aini and Elenda to eat. I've not had lunch okay. We left at 7.30 when Aini's bf came. Aini went TM with her bf while elenda met her bf at TM. AND I met my mother's bf at home. HAHS. NO LAA..my mother's bf is my baoak lah, who else kann..

EHH.. I bought a necklace for myself at only $8 at school just now. I bought a pair of earrings too but gave it to bebeh since she wants it. =))

HAHA. I can't stop smiling to myself when i think bout yesterday. The girls are really cute. I reall miss them and it feels good hugging them.

Sajak.
Pijak.
Pajak.
Sejak.
Semenjak.
Can you guys think of words ending with JAK?

Today, i don't know what happened to grandmother. She kept screaming her lungs out in my ear. I just can't stand it.

ALERT! I have 2 tests tmr. CMSY and BB Fin which is only 20 minutes for each. I have lecture 1-8, tutorial 1&2 and lab 1-3 for CMSY but i have only finished reading until lecture 2. Help me please...

HELP!
HELP!
HELP!
HELP!
HELP!
HELP!
HELP!
HELP!
HELP!
HELP!

Pressure. Too much pressure.

SHE broke OFF with him. When she told me bout it, i realised something. I see the old me, in her. I see her reacting the same way like i did. She face the same problem like i used too. I had to tell her from A-Z bout my experience and let her understand everything. I think she finally get to understand how i felt that time.

SHE1 was sad cos he didn't act like somekind of gentleman. She1 realised that he's just a sweet talker. SHE1 didn't get his motives of being nice to her. I didn't noe what else to say but..to let all my opinions out..cos i was a bit down. When i'm down, i tend to let all my feelings out, so beware.

HEman msged me cos he thinks i should not return him the things that he once gave me. HEman thought it's not good to take what you've given. I was not surprised that HEman msged me cos when my handphone vibrate, i somehow have the feeling it's from HEman. I told him that I don't deserve that thing and that was why i returned it. I didn't have any other intention besides that.

Speaking of feeling, i've been having this weird feeling these few days. Yesterday, i was having no mood to do anything. I even prayed to god that bebeh and sayang won't face the same thing that i faced. I don't wish them to feel what i felt. However, at night, sayang told me that she's facing the same thing like i used to.
Today, in the lab, during the make up lesson, suddenly, i felt like crying. I kept thinking bout bebeh. I didn't know why but i hoped she was fine. And just now, she told me something sad happened to her. I'm puzzled. Why i have thsese kind of feelings? Is it some kind of coincidence or... i don't know.

NOW. I feel some pressure being pushed over me. I have loads of things to handle; survey, SOW, Statement matrix, powerpoint presentation, Alice assignment, CMSK project..bebeh's and sayang's situation. I think bebeh is still okay with hers but sayang, i hope she can handle it while i'm not with her. To think of it, i don't even have time to think of my feelings. When HEman msged me, i don't know what my feeling were. I was angry, sad, frustrated and etc. However, i managed to push the feelings away. I told myself to focus on bebeh and sayang. I don't wish to waste my time thinking bout all those silly stuff. Bebeh's offline now, she's talking to HIM1. I'm waiting for sayang to online now. She's got something to tell me. I shall do my Alice hw for the time being...

MY hands are INNOCENT!

Yes yes yes! My hands are innocent. Another incident happened. I was hanging my clothes when..the hanger broke. WTH! What's wrong with my hands seh? Am i that rough? Hmm. Comment people. PLEASE..

Anyways, these poor hands of mine are in pain. Why? I played the marvel game, something like street fighter, with eugene in the lab. I was so enthu in winning and i almost spoiled the keyboard. HAHA. Violent ehh.

I had no mood today. No mood to even went home but luckily there was my lovely fathin who made me go home. Thanks bebeh! Err..oops! I forgot what i wanted to say. I remembered i have loads of things to say but now..i can't remember a thing. Alarh. If i teringat, i'll write okay?

TATA PEOPLES! =))

I'm pissed. Had case study interview today. It's my turn to interview today and the worst happened to me. All the qns that i asked was rejected. How well can that be? I felt like crying but i didn't want the rest of the classmates to know how i felt so i just kept quiet. Eugene kept saying, "Calm down, girl. It's gonna be okay." I didn't bother to say anything to him. N there was john who said, "I felt for you. I know how you feel." Urgh! N guess what? I'm crying now. I just can't bare the pain.

You guys must be wondering why i'm acting this way. Okayy. I was getting ready to go to school today and i realised i'll look a bit better with a necklace. I was seraching for my necklace in the box when i found the necklace..that he bought for me. I didn't realise that i still have that necklace. I thought i've return everything to him. It was the first present that he gave me. I didn't know if i should keep it or return. I wore it to school and in the bus i cried looking at it. I know i should not keep it anymore cos i don't deserve it and so..i gave fathin when i met her. She wore it and said i should not return it. I don't know if she's gonna return it to him. ERR. Whatever. As long as i don't keep it with me.

Alarh. I'm feeling soo..urgh! Nehmine lahh!!

To all mothers in Singapore, happy mother's day!

What did you guys buy/do for your mother? I bought a figure trimmer for my mother! Hahs. She's been wanting it for quite some time. When i handed her that thing, she was so excited as though she knew what i gave her.

Hey. I just realised i didn't sign up for any CCA yet. I thought of joining band but there's something stopping me. Khaii asked me what cca i thought of joining and i answered cheer leading. Guess what he said? "Takmo..nanti kau nyer babat jadi muscle..haha". N so i said i wanna join dancing n he said, "Takmo joget..nanti stage roboh." When i told him i wanted to join band, he said, "kau bdn besar, nanti kau tiup angin..fuhh...bau". Hah. He's talking crap. Yeah. Potong itu ketam lah khaii. We talked bout loads of stuff and all his answers are crap.

Tommorow's monday and that means a very long day for me. I end at 5 and still have meeting for project after that. I have interview again on tuesday and that means formal wear AGAIN. On wednesday, we'll have the survey presentation and another formal wear and this time, with blazer. DAMN!

OH! OH! Mother and bapak thought i'm some kind of godzilla at home. Why? I was bathing and the clothes hanger, broke. I didn't do anything to it okay. It dropped by itself. Another thing was, i was in the toilet when the flush thing came off. Yes, yes. I didn't do anything to it!! I was just the victim at the scene. Haha. Mother said "kau ni mcm gergasi lah." n bapak said "tangan mcm gajah lah." Thanks eh!

Botak bought an ipod nano and he showed off to me. As i was upset, i just replied, "tak bagus jer." n he walked away with a very sympathethic face. How evil can i get? Hahs.

Love is in the air!

I love grandmother! Followed her somewhere this morning and she gave me money. Wahh. She's really rich eh. Yesterday she already gave me $30 and today she gave me another $10.

After that, i watched a malay movie. Rented the DVD yesterday. It was a love story and it's so freaking romantic!! Suddenly, i feel like i'm in love again. I was smiling the whole time when the movie was being played. =P AND AND AND..for the first time, botak got so interested in this kind of story too. Surprising ehh.

However, after the video ends, his gf called. They quarelled and that makes me scared of having a bf. He's really very mean seh. He has 2 gfs and both of them knows bout it. How lucky can he get? Damn! No..i'm not trying to say that i want to have more than 1 bf at a time but the thing is..how can the girls tolerate him? Botak is always scolding and shouting at them. He wants freedom but he won't let the girls have their's. I hate him for that. I remembered asking their gf to leave him but they don't want. After being scolded and tolerating his nonsense for such a long time, you still want to continue with him? I don't think that is called sacrifices. It's more like you're being a slave to him. Get what i'm trying to say? N if you girls happen to read this entry, don't get me wrong kay. I'm just trying to help you lah.

Forget it. Let's not be so in to their problems. Let's talk bout myself. After watching that video, i was recalling all the memories that i had with him. I miss his smiles and i miss his voice. I don't dare tell it to my friends cos i know they will get annoyed. Yeah. Many people said he looks like a gay but..he's not to me. HMM. Looking at the time we broke, it was so fine until something happened. He taught me a lot of things. Things that i were supposed to know but i was too stupid to even understand it. He made me understand all the sacrifices and why love is something different. He taught me the word discipline and he does all the good things that a guy would least think of. However, he was too naive. I merely let him be alone for a while because of my O levels and he was influenced by his friends. I don't blame him for changing cos i know he was totally lonely at that time. AHH! I miss everything bout him. But too bad.. i don't know where he is now. He's too far from me.

*counting with much enthu* It's been err...7 months since i broke off with him. He left me when i was having my o levels. Can you imagine how i went through those days? It was really hard. REALLY. And to add up to my sufferings, i had problems with my family. I cried during the exams. I cried when i was doing my papers. I still remember the time he made me promise that i will get 15 or 16 points for my results. I promised and yes..i did. I got 16 points. I cried knowing i've granted all his wishes. He was happy when he knew i was so stupid so as to follow what he said. I was dissapointed knowing he tricked me. I felt like i want to sell my results. Can I?

Even after typing all this, i'm thinking of someone. Not him. I'm thinking of my best friend. She's been there for me. She's been a great friend ever since i got to know her. N now, i miss her. It's been quite some time we had those long conversations. NVM, i'll look for her in msn lah! Ehh, are you guys crying? Haha. Don't be. Speaking of crying, i've not cried for 7 months. How long. Can i cry now? Hehs.

Nah. I'm not gonna cry. My family's has changed. They are now much closer to me and i appreciate that. There's only one more thing i wish might happen.

Star light, star bright.
First star i see tonight.
I wish i may,
I wish i might,
Had the wish i wish tonight.
=))

Such wonderful classmates.

I'm supposed to be doing some research on the CMSK project but i just can't make myself type the word 'SRI LANKA' on the webpage. I rather play some online games and chat with my friends. However, remembering that i have assignments and projects to be handed in, i'll start my research real soon. Ermm..maybe after this kay.

HMM. Saw uyanga and phyllis in the bus today. I didn't notice them at first but phyllis hit my hand until i shouted very loudly. Everyone in the bus was looking at me. Hahs. So paiseh. Then, elenda called cause she wanted to meet me at the busstop. However, bus 23 was very late. Elenda has already reached and she said, "I'll meet u at the Student one stop service instead. I'm with your bf." I didn't care to give a reply and just ended the call. Then she msged again to say she's waiting at the canteen. After a few minutes, she msged and said that she's already in the LT. haha. We were very late and it was all thanks to the driver of bus 23.

I think kok lip is mad today. He keeps irritating me by blowing my hair, touching my hair and hit my hand with the papers. WTH. I don't know what's wrong with him today. Grace yap entered the LT today to have a spotcheck. She have told us before that FBI are not allowed to wear bermudas and slippers to school but there are still people who disobey the rules. Ms lina gave us another case study to be completed by next week. Haiz.. the credit card case study has not even completed and there's another case study given to us.

After lecture, it was PRSP. We had to practice Alice again. Hangkong is having PMS today. He keeps shouting and talking non stop. The thing that he says are all nonsense. He asks,
"What is the difference btwn properties and variables in Alice?"
CLASS: Err..
Hangkong: Actually, the difference is..it's the same.
Jarrett: WHAT? WTH are you talking?
HAHA.
That is scene one. Another scene. Hangkong was explaining to us to use new methods and he was shouting.
Yanting: Can you please don't shout!
Hangkong: Who asks you to sit so far and now you say i'm shouting.
Contradicting ehh? Hahah.

2 hrs of school and that's it. Supposed to have meeting for SYSA but wei bao didn't know bout it so we cancelled it. Went to eat with the rest then went to library. We had make up lec at 2 and 3 but we skipped. Aini, me, eugene, jarrett and wei bao went tm and chilled at coffee bean. Jarrett went to meet his friends after that while aini went to meet her bf. Eugene, wei bao and I went to play pool for an hour. Eugene and I talked bout loads of stuff. BGR, family and many more. We even talked bout thay gayboy. Haha.

Wei bao left after playing pool. Eugene and I made our way back to TM and decided to go to the rooftop but it was packed. Eugene then decided to eat at mcdonald's. That's where we met aini and her bf. Ohh. I saw khairil yusoff, the anugerah finalist, with his sister. He's short like me.. =p

Saw elizabeth on the way home. She's also in TP and i didn't know bout that. HAHA. I want to do my project now!

TATA PEOPLE. =))

No boyfriends, No guy friends, No dating= Cannot marry

Mother: Mak tak nak ija ader matair eh. Mak kasi gi skolah bukan utk ader matair. Kalau nak ader matair, tk yah gi skolah. [I don't want you to have boryfriends. I let you go school not to look for boyfriends. If you want to have boyfriends, don't think of going to school.]
Me: Huh? Asal tibe2 cakap sal matair pulak? [Huh? Why all of a sudden the topic is boyfriend?]
Mother: Mak tknk ija keluar ngn maner2 lelaki eh. Tk bole gi BBQ ngn chalet lagik. [I don't want you to go out with guys. No more BBQ and chalet anymore.]
Me: Err, okayy. Balik skolah, ija terus balik rumah. Kalau ader CCA pun ija tk pergi. Kalau lelaki bebual pun ija diam jer. Okay? [Err, okayy. I'll go staright home after school. If there's CCA, i'll not go. I'll not give a reply if a guy talks to me.]
Mother: Mak cakap sikit jer nak marah2. [I'm merely telling you and you get so worked up.]

DAMN! N i cried because of that. That's the same thing she said when i went to primary and secondary school. I'm not allowed to befriend with guys. I'm not allowed to talk to guy on the phone. I got so afraid to talk to boys when i started primary school. However, when i reached primary 3, i realised, i have only a few friends. I started talking to boys like tarmimi, zia and the rest. When i saw them outside of school, i don't dare to even say hi to them. I'm scared mother will spy on me. Hah. N guess what? I don't dare bring guy friends to my house during Hari Raya.

Starting of primary 4, the malays started to spread rumours of me and tarmimi, saying that we are a couple. N not only the whole level knows about it, some of the parents knew bout it too. I was so scared that mother will know bout it too. Mother finally knew bout it and surprisingly, she just smiled. Why? Cos she know it's not true. Moreover, she knew tarmimi and his mother. Phew!

Primary 6, i had a relationship with a guy from a different class. Faisal created a website for NAPS students to vote for the 'POPULAR' couples in our school n i was ranked the first. I remembered ming fong, telling her father bout it. Mother heard bout it and asked me. I just had to lie. After a few months, she saw me with khairul and told us to go on separate ways but we didn't. One fine day, two police officers came to my house and interrogated me. They knew i was friends with shahrul and hisyam and so they suspected me doing some criminal acts at blk 30. WTH. Because of that, mother got angry and became more strict. She made her rules more tight.

I went to secondary school and mother reminded me the same thing again. I didn't dare to make new guy friends but just to be friends with the old friends from NAPS. N because of that, everyone in the school thought i was being proud. I was left out by the seniors and they will pretend they didn't see me when i walked past them. I got so irritated by that and tried to make friends. However, i still didn't give any one of them my contact numbers. I don't dare call the guys when i have problems with my hw. But of course, i talked to some guys on the phone, secretly without mother knowing bout it.

N here i am now, starting my life in poly. Mother's reminding me the same thing again. I got angry this time cos i want to have freedom too. I can't possibly be talking to girls only. I need her to know that i have guy friends too. She said i've been telling her lies cos i always go out with guy friends. I've been trying to tell her the truth but she won't listen to me. She won't let me explain that i have guy friends but they are just FRIENDS, not more than that. I need her to open her mind. She thinks that guy friends are always boyfriends. I need her to change her mindset! Change mother, change! I cried because i was thinking, "i can't have any guy friends. how am i supposed to have boyfriends? That means i won't get married?"

It's true per. She don't allow me to have guy friends till i started working. No guy friends means no boyfriends. No boyfriends means i can't marry. She don't expect me to marry a girl, right? What if i've started work and have boyfriends but she chooses my boyfriend for me? What if she doesn't choose but there's no guy who will like me? Ahh! That means i won't marry? That also means i will be single forever? Oh no~! I got jealous when i see my friends' mothers don't get angry knowing them having boyfriends. I felt like i'm in some different world.

Mother, don't worry. I won't have any boyfriends. I'm not interested in finding one, too, for now. This doesn't mean i'm attracted to the same gender ehh. I just think it's not the time yet. I'm happy with my single life but please.. allow me to have guy friends. I don't wanna lie to you anymore. I want you to know that i have guy friends.

I can't stop crying. It's been really a long time since i cried. The last time was... when i broke up with him. Speaking of him, hope ur life is getting fine now cos I've not stop praying for u. =)

I still remember my friend, good friend, asking me;
Friend: I want to look for boyfriend. Do you?
Me: Nope.
Friend: Wah. Don't want? Why?
Me: I'm afraid and besides, i want to study first lah. Don't have the feeling that i should be looking for one now.

I'm surprised too. I used to get excited talking bout bfs. I've not been thinking bout bf since i broke up with him. Not because i still think of him but he made me think the things that i've not been thinking since i have guy friends. Thanks to him! I know, because i don't sound interested in looking for bf, i always got left out whenever my cousins and friends talk bout them. WHY? Cos whenever they talk bout bf, i feel bored. I just need them to change the subjects. Why? Cos i have nothing to talk bout it. I have no storied to share and that is a sad thing. =((

WORD OF THE DAY, BONDING.

Yeap. The title explains it all. My classmates love bonding. Haha. PRSP started at 10 and i was early. Waited for elenda at the usual port but she was late so she told me to go to lab first. After lab, it was 2 hrs break. I was about to leave the lab when eugene shouted to me, "Ramizahh! R u going canteen to eat?" He's excited, as usual, whenever it's break time. Heh. Went to eat with jarrett, eugenen, uyanga, aini and john. Everyone seems to be very hyperactive today. They keep talking crap and make me laugh non stop. Went to FBI lab afterwhich aini and i printed the notes. We spent 1 1/2 hrs there. One word. Kecoh-rable. Everyone was making jokes and that place was very hectic. Haha. At first, i don't wish to entertain them but i just can't control my laughter. Eugene was sitting next to me and he said, "I saw ur profile in friendster so i send u a friend request. Wahh, u look damn emo in ur picture ah." LOL. So, i went to check my friendster and got a testi from khaii. Surprisingly, he mention the same thing. He asked me since when i started being an emo. Something like that lahh. Heh. I'm not being an emo larh. Take picture only what! N eugene knows my password for friendster. Argh. I don't wanna change the pswrd so don't tell anyone else kay. Everyone was then listening to their mp4 when eugene and i was talking softly. Suddenly,
Elenda said: Aiya. This couple ahh.
Me: Huh? Who?
Eugene: WE? Couple? Haha. Yah lah. Yah lah. We couple.
Me: Hello. R u mad?
Elenda: Ok2. Don't fight anymore.

Whatever. We are not couple. I'm still single and eugene's attached okayy. Then, it was time to leave the lab cos we had bb finance for 3 hrs!! 3 hrs tau! In the room, i realised i left my specs in the lab. I was lazy to go down so i asked eugene to take it for me. He's so kind to help me take it. Haha. Thanks ahh.

After bb finance, some of the classmates went jogging at sports complex. Then, played basketball. I didn't want to go at first but eugene asked me for a GOOD reason for that. I had no choice but to go. Nehmine lah, i can wash my eyes at the same time. Heh. They decided to watch movie at TM but i was too tired to go and because of that, we only went to eat at long john. Oh yeah, passed the football court(looks like streetsoccer court) on the way to the busstop. I saw fadzly, zur, faisal, fadhil and hanafi. All of them were not playing, just watching, except for fadhil.

At long john, saw azeimah and madah. Is that her name? I think so. Kok lip, jarret and uyanga was making loads of fun. I can't stop laughing and elenda, as usual, will comment, "Why are you so happy?"
me: Can't i laugh?
Jarett: OMG! She's so cute eh. I wanna pinch her cheeks. Geram!
Eh. You think i'm a baby is it?

I have yet to take a shower. Anyway, bought mother and bapak burgers. They were very very happy. Mother even said 'yahoo'. Haha.

Going out tomorrow. I'm staying over at mak jah's house for next week cos i have to 'accompany' mira. Her parents are out of town and wants me to substitute as mira's mother as she's close to me. Bleah. Tired la!

Ms blood is finally here.

Susses. That's how Mr Chew pronounce success. HAHA. For the whole 1 hr, he kept saying susses. Everyone was like "huh? WTH!" Marlina's lecture was boring as usual and so, fathin, me, eugene and john started talking till the lecture ends. Heh. Had tutorial for PRSP and had to practice ALICE again. Hangkong gave us assignments too and we are supposed to hand it in on week 15, i think. Supposed to end school at 12 but had to stay back for project meeting and make up lesson. -_- My group went to design school to eat but i didn't eat. There's only 3 stalls there. Sikit siak. The chinese stall was obviously not halal and there's western food that's not halal too. Left with the only muslim stall and the queue was very long. I think the best canteen to go is IT. It's the only air conditioned canteen in the whole campus and it has the most stalls compared to the other school. YAY! I love the IT canteen. Hahah.

Ms blood finally came when i was discussing the project with the others in the library. DAMN! I didn't bring the pad seh. We were discussing when 2 other groups came to discuss bout their projects too. At 2.30, decided to go canteen to eat. Eugene left his group to follow me. Met fathin and siew hwee in the canteen. They are having BPM make up lesson too. John, kok lip and jarett came after that. They were talking crap and making jokes all the time. I was laughing my heads off and so was the others. I think the whole ppl in the canteen was looking at us. HAH. Fathin left with siew hwee after awhile cos they wanted to go somewhere. So i'm the only girl left with the 4 guys. Now i know what guys talk about when they meet. Haha. Aku pun join skali lahh! Heh. Went to look for the others but couldnt find them so we sat outside the room and talked bout stupid stuff again. Oh ya. The fantastic four guys taught me what i should do to grow a bit taller. Haha. They were making fun of me but i'm not mad cos i know they were just joking. Thanks guys for the advice. HAHA.

Did i mention? I saw rudy and zur in the canteen. Yes, zur. He said he wanted to transfer to tp. Mcm betul jer. Haha. Was talking to them when someone came and messes up my hair. At first, i thought it was eugene but i was wrong. It was kenneth. He was with his friends, ayul, i think. After messing up my hair, he just left! WTH.

CMSK was gerek but i had no energy to enjoy it. I had cramps and i could barely talk. What has cramps got to do with talking eh? I pun tak tau lah. Haha. So, for that 2 hours, i let my group members discuss while i just listen to them. Sorry eh korang!

Can anyone tell me what i should do to overcome stage fright? I'm scared to present on stage and even present infront of the class. Alarh. Easy said, i can barely talk in front of a crowd. =)

YAY! Thank you bapak. You're the best lah! Haha. I'm sure gonna sleep soundly now. Thanks to him. Bapak just exchanged my mattress with Li's. We have the same type of bed so his mattress can fit on my bed. I realised that my mattress got a whole lot of springs and it's very keras and it really irritates me. I can't really sleep peacefully on my mattress,however, when i sleep on Li's mattress, i can sleep peacefully and even, for a very long hours. YAY! =)

I'm having a headache. My vision is very blur and because of that i feel like fainting. Help, please? Anyway, my group won for BPM game. We, the manufacturers sold laptops macam jual ice cream. 1 laptop for $300. Buy 20 get 10 free. Saper nak beli? Haha. It's a game la, gundu! Mr Toh made us chose what we want to sell. The whole class chose laptops. However, the price was decided by Mr Toh. If only laptops are sold at $300. If only..

Ended school at 12 today. Had nowhere to go so went home. I had some time alone just now and was thinking bout my friends and problems. I don't know what i must do to solve them but i decided to let it be how it will be. Hmm. I guess that's the only thing i could do for the moment.

I got this poem from a webbie. I really like it cos the words used are not superb but it's well written.

FOREVER FRIENDS
You're my friend and that is true
the gift was given from me to you
we went thru the moments that were good and bad
every moments that were happy or sad
you supported me when i was in tears
we were stuck together when we were in fear
it's really sad that it had to be this way
but it has reached it's very last day
miles away can keep us apart
cause you'll always be in my heart. . .

Project and assignments makes me mad. I wanna scream!! Argh! I know i must stop. Heh. Oh well. Today discussed the SYSA project with the group and i finally understand a tiny bit of what we are supposed to do. We got a new group member, Geetha, anyway. Got another new classmate too. It's yong shen(i think so). 2 hrs of SYSA really make me have migraines. OH! I must mention this. For the 2 hrs of SYSA, wei bao didn't even contribute anything to the group. Why? He's shy. I think he's scared of us(me, tai miao, sock lin and geetha). We were disturbing him all awhile. And of course, there's eugene who never fails to irritate me. His group was beside mine. Each time i keep quiet, he will go, "Ramizah, ramizah!!(with hands waving as if he sees a superstar)." Hahah. Have i mention? He loves to eat. Each time we have breaks or even when we are released early to go to the next class, he will make his way to the...CANTEEN!

Eugene: Half sister, wanna go canteen?

Ramizah: NO! We just had break, mind you.

Eugene: Yah but i still need to eat. Oh, you should eat more too so you'll grow.

And he gave me a smile from ear to ear. I cannot grow lah. I'm SHORT. An in case you don't know, i'm already FAT. That makes me SH-FAT. Hehs.

Oh well today had loads of fun but i don't wish to blog about it. Except that, i just wanna publicise something. I'M IN NEED OF MONEY!! YES. MONEY! saper2 nak donate? I've got to buy my textbooks which is costing $46.50 but that is only for PRSP. The rest.. i'm not sure. However, altogether, it will cost me about 100+. I still need to buy a file for my notes.

My periods have yet to come. No. Not for may but for april. N because of that, i'm having mood swings. My mood swings occur when my periods are due and after periods. Hahas. Ms blood, can u pls come out? Heh.

I received 2 msges early in the morning. It was from victor and the other was from khairul. I don't know who he is but i think it's from khaii. Victor asked me if i'm going to sentosa. He was so excited to go, like me, but he planned not to go after knowing that i'm not going. Haha. Sorry boy. I desperately want to go too but i'm sick. -_-

Botak came back bringing food home. I'm happy. Why? I'm happy whenever there's food. Food and me are very compatible. HAHA. He bought my favourite food tau. I'm much more happier. Heh. Too bad, I can't eat yet. I have to wait for Li to wake up first. OMG! He always wake up at 1. Must i really wait till 1? NO! I can't. With my favourite food laying on the table, i can't simply wait till 1.

Since i have to wait, i shall blog here and play with botak's Star Wars Force FX Light Saber. It's been a long time since i played with that thing. I really like the sound that it makes when it is moved. Mcm dlm star wars seh. DUHH~!

Fathin realised i was a bit different yesterday. She said i can't take jokes and i was different. I don't know why i'm behaving that way. PMS, i think. Hehs. I'm trying to control my feelings sehh... YESSA! Surprisingly, Li has wake up! I shall go and eat now. Tata. Jemput makan!